#all the dialogue goes hard and the actions were like one delightful surprise after another

[ipegchangbin]

— rope dwaekki

→ PAIRING: Seo Changbin x fem!reader

→ GENRE: smut 18+ — MDNI!

→ SYNOPSIS: Changbin is your lil rope bunny

→ WARNINGS: sexually explicit content, sub!changbin, dom!reader, established relationship, rope play, unprotected sex, degrading, spit, oral (F + M), rutting, deepthroating, masturbation (reader fingers themselves), clit play, pet names (baby girl, bun/bunny), nipple play (M), some elements of pain (nothing too extreme!), orgasm denial, cum eating (M + F), creampie, aftercare.

→ WORDS: 4.7k

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

→ m.list — → ao3

"You look so adorable, baby girl." You coo, standing at the edge of the bed as you look at your naked boyfriend, who is currently kneeling. Arms bound together by red rope, the same rope decorating his chest. With how big his pecs are plus the tightness of the rope, it makes them bulge out making you feel excited.

"T-Thank you, y/n." Changbin whispers, a faint blush on his cheeks. 

"Who knew you'd be into something like this." You hum, cocking your head to the side as you gaze down at him, "A strong looking man like you would never look as pathetic as you do." 

Changbin shivers at your words, his cock pulsating. You notice, raising a brow slowly before kneeling down.

"Did you like that?" You coo, wrapping your hand around his length. He lets out a throaty groan, hips bucking into your hand.

"Y-Yes." He stutters.

"You're disgusting. I can't believe you like something like this." You tsk, stroking his length. 

"I-Im sorry. I can't help it!" He whimpers, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. You coo, using your free hand to stroke his cheek softly.

"I know you can't, that's what makes it even more pathetic." You giggle, Changbin's cock throbbing against your hand. Your hand travels down his cheek to his pecs, fingertips brushing against his nipples.

He shivers, looking down and watching your fingers. You flick the sensitive nub, rolling it between your fingers. Changbin whimpers, his body shaking. He tugs at the rope, desperate to be free. You laugh at his pathetic attempt, squeezing his cock roughly.

"I don't know whether to call you cute or pathetic because your actions are both." You coo in a mocking manner. Changbin bites his bottom lip softly, looking at you with doe eyes. You shiver, his demeanor sending shockwaves of pleasure to your core, making it throb.

You lean in, taking his sensitive bud between your teeth. You nibble it softly, tongue flicking over it. You feel his pre-cum seeping out from his slit, coating his tip. You rub your thumb harshly over his tip, smearing his pre-cum around. You apply more pressure, increase the speed of your tongue flicks before shifting to the other, sucking and biting it harshly.

Shockwaves of pain travel down Changbin's spine and straight to his cock, making it continually throb in your hand. He hisses as you bite down harder, little sobs falling past his lips as well as labored pants.

"S-Shi— ah!" Changbin cries out, his muscles tensing and burning. His senses are on overdrive, mind slowly turning into mush, thoughts foggy. You suck on the skin around his nipples, leaving deep purple marks behind – ones that would take weeks to disappear. 

His hips rocking back and forth as you continue your assault on his tip, thumb getting soaked in his pre-cum. His body is shaking, cock sensitive. His nerve endings burn with pleasure and adrenaline, heart thumping heavy against his ribcage to the point where you can hear it.

You love this, more than you should. Seeing your strong, angelic boyfriend turn into a submissive, whimpering mess in the palm of your hands excites you more than you'd like to admit. You love it, so much so, that it drives you to tease him out in public. He wouldn't dare show this side of him to his friends, he’s the type of person who would want to maintain his angelic, sweet side to him. He doesn't want his dirty little secret to taint him – but it’s too late for that.

He was the one that found you. He knew he was always a sub, the thought of having someone dominate him shook him to his core, he just couldn't find the right person. He met you by chance at a local bar. You just broke up with your ex, angry and upset.

You confided in Changbin, spitting out all your hatred towards your ex onto him. Changbin comforted you, listened and gave you advice but it wasn't enough for you. You needed a different way of letting out your anger, which lead to you two having sex that same night. You took all your anger out on Changbin and he didn't mind one bit; in fact, he wanted more.

Days went by since then and he couldn't stop thinking about you. It was the best sex he had ever had and he was craving more of you. Sadly, the only information he had to go on was your name. That night plagued his thoughts, consuming him. He found himself lying on his bed, thinking about you whilst stroking his agonizingly hard cock.

Teasing and denying himself of his own orgasm, making his thighs shake, abs burn. Your sweet moans ringing in his ears, your words swimming around in his head. The way you looked, your aura, how he felt whilst being with you – he wants to see you again.

You met each other again by coincidence. He failed to say anything, his mind and body too excited by your presence. He felt like a puppy finally getting his long awaited treat. Since then, you two have been addicted to each other.

Every whimper, every moan and every sob that spills from Changbin, sets you on fire. It makes you feel alive. It drives you to tease him more, wanting to reduce him into a sobbing, pathetic mess. It soaks you, your slick sticking to your folds, entrance pulsating for something more. It's almost like you're denying yourself of your own high, wanting to help Changbin reach the peak of pleasure, purely because you can deny him, make him wait and beg.

"I-I can't. I feel like I could cum." Changbin pants. You look up, raising a brow before wrapping your hand firmly around the base of his throbbing cock. You squeeze roughly, his hips bucking upwards

"Hold it." You demand. Changbin nods slowly. You lean in, kissing his neck slowly. You suck and bite his soft skin, feeling territorial and possessive. You want everyone to know who he belongs to and that is you.

"Kiss." He softly cries out. 

"Awe." you coo, "Does Binnie want a kiss?" Changbin nods his head, bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

"Please…" You grin, pressing your lips against his. The kiss is slow and passionate with lust and hunger behind it. Your lips move together in sync, Changbin occasionally panting. You take the opportunity of his parted lips to push your tongue inside his warm mouth, loving the taste of him.

Changbin doesn't even bother fighting for dominance, he knows it's a useless battle. Saliva and breath mixes together, your hand stroking his cock slowly as your other rolls and flicks his nipples. The lack of oxygen makes you feel dizzy causing you to be the first to pull away for air.

A soft whine falls past Changbin's lips, his lips swollen and glistening with saliva. You giggle, swiping your thumb across his bottom lip and licking it clean. You lick your lips slowly, stroking his bottom lip before kissing him again, this time, with more force and power. The kiss is sloppy, uncoordinated. The type of kiss that makes Changbin weak at the knees and be reduced to nothing.

You take his bottom lip between your teeth, gently tugging it before sucking it softly. You occasionally glide your tongue along it but refuse to push your tongue inside his mouth making him whimper and tug at his restraints.

"Open." You whisper. Changbin obeys, slowly opening his mouth. You spit inside it, watching your saliva land on his tongue and mix with his own. 

"Swallow." You watch him close his mouth, swallowing yours and his saliva. His adams apple bobbing up and down in time. You grin in satisfaction, stroking his cheek. His eyes fixated on you, watching your every move. He wants to please you, be a good boy for you.

"Are you my cute, little bunny?" Your tone of voice is sickly sweet, talking down to him making him shiver at your overpowering aura. Changbin had no option but to whimper at the nickname and nod, his ability to form sentences long gone. You shuffle down, instantly taking his length inside your mouth.

You instantly deepthroat him, swallowing around his length causing your throat to clench around him. A sudden loud moan falls past his lips, his mind and body in complete shock and failing to catch up with your sudden action. 

You get to work on sucking him, making sure your tongue is flat to stroke the underside of his length. You feel his thick, protruding veins stroking your tongue and cheeks. You pump what your mouth fails to reach. His cock is thick, growing in size causing the corners of your mouth to stretch to their capacity. You close your eyes, allowing yourself to bask in the glorious sounds of your whimpering boyfriend, who is currently struggling to keep it together.

With your free hand, you cup and fondle his balls, rolling them around in your hands. You deepthroat him again a few more times, saliva spilling from the corners of your lips. You pull away for air, stroking his cock. Your saliva coats his length and the palm of your hands.

Changbin's face is scrunched up, his focus shifting from the intense pleasure you provide, to him holding back his orgasm. With each suck and stroke, he feels his willpower slowly fading, threatening to snap at any minute. His pre-cum leaks down the sides of cock, coating your hand.

"P-Please let me cum. It hurts." He sobs. His eyes well up with tears, spilling down his cheeks. You swallow thickly, almost orgasming at the sight of your boyfriend, tears rushing down his cheeks as he sobs.

"Do you want to cum that bad, bun?" 

"Please!" His cock rock hard in the palm of your hand, hot to the touch. His pre-cum spilling out of his slit. His abs visible tensing, muscles burning from trying to desperately hold on.

"Have you been good?" 

"I've been so good. Fuck it hurts, it fucking hurts. I can't —" Changbin sobs, tears spilling down his cheeks. His body coated in a thin layer of sweat, his eyebrows scrunched up as a look of desperation evidence on his face. His chest rising up and down at a fast pace, struggling to maintain his composure.

"I mean, I could let you." You state, thinking before shrugging. "Doesn't mean I will though." You giggle menacingly, making Changbin whimper loudly and kick his head back.

"You're so… You're so mean, y/n." Broken sobs escape his lips. You hum, acknowledging his statement before licking a long, wet strip along the side of his cock. His tip is an angry red and rock hard at this point, throbbing involuntarily in your hand.

"I can't.. I can't, please. I can't!" Changbin continues to beg, watching you lick his cock slowly, his body shaking. You swipe your tongue along his tip, the tip of your tongue gliding along his slit collecting his salty pre-cum. Changbin's begs falling on deaf ears, nothing but sobs fill the bedroom, shaking you to your core.

Without warning, Changbin's cock pulsates, hot ropes of cum shoot out, hitting your cheek and lips. You back away, pumping him fast as his hips buck involuntarily, soft cries of relief leaving his lips. His cum lands on your hand and arms, some landing on his thighs and the sheets below him. You lick your lips, watching him fall apart right in front of your very eyes.

His head kicks back, beads of sweat roll down his temples. His thighs and abs are visibly clenching. Coming down from his high, he realises what he has done and that he may have fucked up – big time. 

He looks down at you, eyes wide in horror and fear. Despite his orgasm, his cock stays standing proud and hard. You let go of him, looking at the mess he has made on you and himself. You wipe his cum off your cheek with your finger, looking at it in disgust.

"I-I am so so sorry. I couldn't help it. I just–"

"Look at the mess you have made, bun. It's all over you and me! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry. It happened so fast. I didn't mean to. I tried, I really tried!" 

You hold your cum coated finger to his lip, nudging it gently. He automatically opens allowing you to push your finger inside. He sucks your finger clean, whimpering at the salty flavor of himself.

"My good bunny." You coo, watching him, "Maybe I will forgive you." You pull your finger out of his mouth with a pop, giggling softly. His cum slowly trickles down your arm making it tickle slightly 

"Look at me." You whisper. Changbin maintains his eye contact with you, not daring to look away or make another mistake. You forgave him once, who's to say you will forgive him again. It's a risk he's not willing to take. You bring your arm up to your mouth, tongue licking up slowly as it collects his cum. You hum as the salty taste coats your tastebuds. You swallow it, making sure to lick your arm and hand clean.

All Changbin can do is whimper and watch. His cock back to its angry, hard state, throbbing involuntarily. You sit back, leaning on your hands as you spread your legs wide, teasing Changbin.

His gaze shifts down to your core, wet and throbbing. He sighs softly, licking his lips as your juices coat your folds and inner thighs. Your clit swollen and throbbing, begging to be touched. You slide your hand down your stomach until your fingertips come into contact with your clit.

You hum softly, rubbing soft circles on your swollen clit. Soft sighs and hums fall past your lips, your core visible clenching making Changbin whimper and tug at his restraints, tightly.

Using two fingers, you glide them in-between your folds, getting them soaked in your slick. You slip them inside you with ease, pumping them at a fast but steady pace. Pleasure rushes through your veins, setting your nerves on fire.

"Ah, Changbin." You moan out, your free hand reaching up and cupping your breast. You tease your own nipple, rolling and pinching it between your fingers. You hips buck, a soft whine falls past Changbin's lips. He struggles against the rope restraints, desperate to touch you, to taste you.

"I want a taste." You scoff, rolling your eyes before smirking.

"Beg." You demand, fingers curling against your walls. Changbin swallows thickly, licking his lips.

"Please." You sigh, scoffing at him before rolling your eyes.

"What a pathetic attempt, bun. Try again." Changbin's jaw clenches, eyes squeezing shut before opening his mouth. His cheeks and tips of his ear are a nice, red colour.

"Please! I want to taste you so badly. Bury my head between your legs and just indulge in your taste and warmth. Please… I'll do anything." You hum, slowly pull your fingers out off your aching cunt.

"Good boy." You praise before nodding between your legs, giving him the go ahead. His face lights up as he shuffles towards you on his knees. He leans forward, taking in your scent and warmth before licking a long strip between your folds, collecting your essence on his tongue.

He moans deeply, lapping at your entrance. Desperate to collect every drop and more of you, swallowing it down and licking his lips occasionally like he has just eaten the best meal of his life – which to him, he currently is.

His tongue makes contact with your clit, pressing it flat before sucking and nibbling on your bud. You kick your head back, pushing his sweaty curls away from his face before tangling your fingers in them. Soft moans fall past your lips, pleasuring filling up every nerve ending in your body, pumping through your bloodstream.

He goes back to lapping at your entrance, alternating between the two. Soft sucks, nibbles and licks; your mind going into overdrive. 

"Ah fuck, bunny. You're so good, it feels so good — ah!!" You cry out, panting softly. Changbin hums against your cunt. Your slick and his saliva coats your skin and his chin. He messily eats you, burying his head further between your legs. You buck your hips against his face, the tip of his nose hitting your clit in the most blissful way.

"Let me – Let me use you, baby girl." You struggle to say between your pants. You grip onto the sheets, rutting against Changbin's face at a fast, yet erratic pace. Goosebumps rise on Changbin's skin as he listens to your sweet moans. He looks up at you through his lashes, the sight of your sweaty skin and fucked out facial expression was enough to make him cum again.

Your toes curl and legs shake, thighs burning from tensing so much. Your juice fall down the curve of your ass, Changbin desperate to collect the drops before they land on the sheets; however, he fails to do so. 

Heat pools in the pit of your stomach at a rapid pace, walls clenching around nothing. Your back arches, hips rutting faster against Changbin's face. Your movements now sloppy, irregular and uncoordinated confirming Changbin of his thoughts – you're close. 

"B-Binnie, i–" He hums against your cunt, tongue lapping at your core, teeth nibbling your clit. You cry out, hips bucking for a final time as your orgasm rushes over you in waves. Your toes curl as you hold Changbin's head, keeping him close to you as you lazily rut against his face, chasing your high and slowly coming down from it.

You let go of his head, biting your lip gently as Changbin kneels back up. You lick your lips, the lower half of his face covered in your juices. You kneel up, his lips swollen and eyes sparkling as he pants a little due to the lack of oxygen. You grab a discarded t-shirt, wiping away your slick from his chin.

"Thank you." He laughs softly. You hum, kissing his lips sweetly. You hook a finger under the robe, tugging it.

"I want to use your cock, bun. I want to ride you and feel you deep inside me." You coo, licking the shell of his ear slowly. He shivers, swallowing a little.

"O-Okay." He stutters. You hum, gently taking off his rope bindings and discarding them on the floor. Marks of where the rope has been digging into his skin, evident. You bite your lip gently, stroking the red marks. Changbin notices, placing a hand on top of yours gently

"It doesn't hurt. I'm okay." He softly speaks, automatically soothing you of your worries.

"Are you sure?" You mumble, continuing to look at his markings. He gently lifts your chin up, kissing your lips sweetly. You both break the role of sub and dom for a split second to allow you both to soothe each other of any worries; to make sure you're both okay.

"I'm green, darling. I have been throughout this whole ordeal."

"But I worry that I hurt you." You mumble.

"Baby, I want you to hurt me. I like it when it's tight, when you deny me of my orgasms to the point it hurts, when you pinch my nipples - it's a pleasurable feeling to me." 

"But–"

"Sh. Just use me." Changbin sits back against the headboard. You lick your lips, crawling over to him before straddling him. Changbin reaches out to hold your hips, to which you smack away instantly.

"Don't touch me until I say so." You demand. Changbin nods slowly, arms falling down to his sides, "Just sit back and look pretty for me, bun."

You grab the base of his cock, sliding his tip up and down your folds, soaking it in your slick before lowering yourself down onto it. Changbin hisses, your earlier orgasm making you feel tight around him. Your walls have a vice grip around him, the stretch of his thick cock making you hiss. Shockwaves of pain and pleasure shoot up and down your spine, making your thighs clench and shake.

You plant your hands on Changbin's abs, your ass softly landing on his thighs as you sink down fully on his length. You whimper softly, the stretch and burn feeling too good to you.

"Fuck, you're so tight." Changbin grunts. You nod slowly, before lifting your hips up before sinking back down again. You shiver, his tip instantly hitting that spot that makes you scream with pleasure. You pick up the pace, bouncing on his cock. Changbin bawls his hands into fists, feeling the urge to grab your hips and help you with your movements.

You kick your head back, a string of moans and curses falling past your lips. Your thighs start to burn as his cock strokes your soft walls. Juices falling down his length, landing on the sheets between his legs. Changbin captures his bottom lip between his teeth, soaking in the gorgeous sight that rests upon his very eyes.

Your tangled hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, your breasts bouncing in time with your bounces, chest heaving up and down to match your pants – you're so beautiful to him. Pressing his lips together in a thin line, Changbin debates on whether or not to do something to help you.

He loves being used by you, loves the idea of you being selfish and only chasing after your own high, however, he loves helping. He wants to help you, despite the fact that it could result in a punishment. 

Deciding to deal with the punishment later, Changbin bucks his hips upwards. Your eyes widen, a strangled moan falling past your lips as your nails dig into his abs. Considering you didn't say anything, he continues to thrust upwards, his cock reaching the deepest parts of you.

"Chang–Fuck!" You choke out, hand coming down to your clit to lazily rub circles on. Your walls contract around his cock, making him groan loudly. 

"Let me touch you, please!" Changbin begs, eyes watering for the nth time that night. You coo, stroking under his eyes gently with your thumb.

"Maybe." You tease. Changbin whines loudly, a grunt of frustration ripples in the back of his throat.

"Please! I've been good, haven't I?" He is correct; he has been good. He's obeyed your every command, surely he must deserve a little bit of a treat.

"Mhm, fine." You giggle only for it to subside as Changbin wraps his strong arms around you, flipping you both over so he is now towering over you. He grabs your legs by the thighs, spreading them wide as he thrusts powerfully, hips smacking against yours; practically fucking you into the mattress.

It's like the beast that's been caged up, is finally free. His fingers dig into your soft skin, leaving marks behind. His gaze fixated on the space that connects your both. He cock appears with a new layer of slick before disappearing deep inside you, making Changbin groan out.

Your body jolts upwards with each raw thrust, pillows falling off the bed as the headboard slams against the walls. You reach up, gripping onto his biceps, feeling it contact against your fingertips.

"Fuck me, bun. Fuck me like you mean it." You encourage. Changbin nods his head, his thrusting becomes more ruthless. His cock twitching inside you, balls slapping against your skin. Your thoughts slowly start to become foggy, body consumed by the sheer amount of pleasure and power Changbin provides.

"You look so pretty." You mewl, withering beneath Changbin. He pushes his cock out half way, only for him to sink it back inside. You look at him, biting your lip before giving him a mischievous smirk.

"I want more, my cute bunny." You purr. Changbin groans deeply before picking you up by your waist. He sits back on his feet, your arms wrap around his neck for stability. He wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face into your neck as he bucks his hips upwards, fucking you from below.

"So good, you feel so good around me." Changbin desperately whimpers against your neck, holding you flush against his sweaty chest. You coo softly, pushing back his sweaty curls to reveal beads of sweat rolling down his forehead and temples.

"You're doing so well, bun. My precious, adorable bunny." Changbin whimpers, your praises shooting straight to his cock, "You've been so good for me, treating me so well. I'm so proud of you." 

"D-Dont. You're going to make me cum again."

"Don't you want to though? Don't you want to flood my insides with your seed and fuck it deep inside me?" You purr, licking his neck slowly. 

"Yes. Oh, fuck yes!"

"Then, I will allow you to. You've been good and I want to spoil you." 

"T-Thank you." Changbin whispers before resuming the earlier position of you on your back. He grips your hips in his hands; long, slow, yet powerful thrusts shake your whole body. You rub your clit, desperate to chase your own high. Your walls grip around Changbin's length, convulsing around him as your orgasm fast approaches.

"C-Cum." Changbin splutters, his high soon approaching. His thrusting uncoordinated, strangled moans and whimpers falling past his lips.

"Same!" 

With one more powerful thrust, Changbin's movements falter before stopping entirely. His head hangs low, hands gripping your skin harshly causing pain to shoot throughout your body. His cock twitches, hot ropes of cum shoot deep inside you. With the feeling of Changbin's hot cum filling you up, your own orgasm hits you.

Your back arches off the bed, toes curling as a string of moans in the form of Changbin's name leaves your lips. Your walls contract around Changbin, your fingers lazily stroking your oversensitive clit. You pant softly, coming down from your high as Changbin moves his hips in a languid fashion, pushing his cum deep inside you.

"It's so–It's so much." He whispers, tips of his ears turning red. You laugh softly before grunting as his flaccid cocks pull out off you. You shiver, feeling his cum slowly seep out of you.

"Yeah, it really is." You laugh, feeling it drip onto the bed sheets. Changbin hums, flopping down on the bed beside you.

"How are you feeling?" he asks. You look to the side, smiling lovingly at him. A dull twinge of pain was slowly approaching your lower back and hips, your throat dry and body slick with sweat and bodily fluids.

"I feel good, tired, but good. What about you, bun?" You gently stroke the markings on his skin, biting your lips gently. He smiles, placing his hand on top of yours gently.

"I feel fucking amazing!" You nod, sitting up, "But, I'm hungry." 

"Let's clean up and order food then." You grin, shuffling off the bed. You make your way to the bathroom, filling up a bathtub of hot water and bubbles. Once done, you get in, shuffling forward so Changbin can sit behind you.

You rest against his chest, eyes closing as you relax. The events slowly catch up to you once the adrenaline is out of your system.

"I cannot wait to settle down and eat some food." Changbin whispers, slowly drifting off. You look behind you, laughing softly before washing both your hair and bodies. You step out, drying and dressing yourself before helping Changbin out.

He lazily dries himself off, stepping into some clean underwear before making his way to the living area. You change the sheets and clean up the rope, opening the bedroom window to air out the smell of sex. You order some food before making your way to the living area.

"Hey bun. I ordered some food, it should be he–" You stop in your tracks, heart melting at the sight that's right in front of your eyes.

Changbin curled up on the sofa, his curly, wet hair fanned out on the cushion. Soft snores escape his lips as his hand is under his cheek resting on the cushion, mushing his cheek together creating a pout on his lips. 

You take a photo of him, making it your wallpaper before grabbing a thick, fleece blanket and putting it over him. Changbin stirs in his sleep, eyes slowly fluttering open. You hush him, softly kissing his forehead.

"Shh, my love. You did so well today. Get some sleep and I will wake you when food is here." Changbin hums softly, eyes fluttering close.

"I love you." He whispers, falling back into his sleep. You smile softly, kissing his cheek lovingly. 

"I love you too, bun."

→ note: man, idk okay. i started this at 2:30am because I couldn't sleep and finished it in less than a day. 😵‍💫😶‍🌫️ i had so much fun writing sub felix during my series that i wanted to write more. i already thought of this after i wrote lix's section so uh yeah. i do plan on doing more sub skz bc why not. i really wanna challenge myself in my writing and escape this comfort bubble im in bc when i do dip my toe out off it, i have soo much fun. pls lemme know how i did – i welcome all feedback so dont be afraid to voice your thoughts!

→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @purple-belle | @laylasbunbunny | @dilucpegg3r | @chanssmiles | @meltheninja13

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man. ( Taehyung x Oc)

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst. 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2  ~ Its okay to want something to end and also be sad that its ending. 

With infidelity, its never black and white. 

There’s different kinds of infidelity and you can’t ever say which is worse. That depends entirely on the people involved and the values they hold dear. What may be a small indiscretion to someone, may well be an unforgivable act of betrayal to someone else.

 And that’s fine. People aren’t one dimensional. We can’t all have the same perspective. 

So infidelity is also never one dimensional. 

Sometimes its a one night stand. Something done and forgotten. Discarded from the mind like the used condom in the motel room floor. 

Sometimes its a dear friend who betrays you, your best friend who apparently always had a thing for your husband and felt perfectly fine making a move on him. That one stings . Because you lose two people. Two very important people at the same time. 

Sometimes its a coworker, someone who stays by their side majority of the day. Who offers a sympathetic ear when your husband wants to relax.

Sometimes men just fall out of love and are too much of a coward to say it out loud, opting to cheat on you instead. 

Sometimes, they are jealous, of your career, of your kid, or your friends. Too lazy to win your affection they go find satisfaction in some one else’s bed. 

Sometimes it never even gets physical. Sometimes its just someone catfishing your husband or sending him nudes.

And sometimes, its an emotional connection. They actually fall deeply in love with someone else and I think, for most women, that would be the one that would sting the most. 

With Taehyung, it had been a night of drinking. He had had one drink too many, had tumbled into bed with some trainee a decade younger and had broken our marriage vows. 

Not really a very thought out or planned mistake. He hadn’t cheated with the intent to cheat. He had just been too drunk to know better. 

So, why did I leave him?

Because it hadn’t been about the cheating. 

It had been the drinking. 

When we first met, Taehyung couldn’t hold his liquor. Not that it mattered because he didn’t like it all that much. Didn’t mind sipping juice when other’s nursed beers. 

But as he grew older, as he grew more successful, he had started accepting drinks from producers and directors and fellow actors... Because, it was rude not to and Kim Taehyung was nothing if not the personification of politeness. 

 His tolerance hadn’t increased but his drinking had and that was a bad combo. 

:”You need to stop doing this Tae. You can’t just come home black out drunk, every time you have an after party.... You’re going to hurt yourself or god forbid someone else... some day and I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to wreck your entire life over a stupid drink....” 

It was a speech I had made way too many times. The words recycled and reframed, and rearranged to try and give them more  weight , to help him realize how  serious  the issue was. To help him understand that what he was risking, it wasn’t just his reputation. It was his entire career, his  life  if he somehow got behind a wheel someday. 

And Taehyung, who had won a bunch of Daesangs for his acting always convinced me that he understood what I was trying to say. That he understood the magnitude of my words and would heed them the next time. 

So really, what people didn’t understand was that....

That evening, when he stood in front of me and said that he slept with another woman because he got drunk out of his mind, it wasn’t the sleeping with the girl that had bothered me. ( at least not that much. it hurt of course but it wasn’t that strong. it stemmed more from a place of “why didn’t you just ask someone to drive you home, you idiot.”.. rather than, “ how dare you sleep with another woman?”  ) 

It was the got drunk out of my mind thing. 

That was what I ended my marriage over. 

That was it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The details were hashed out easily and I didn’t particularly protest or change anything. Taehyung suggested an equal division of assets and I quickly disagreed. I wasn’t exactly poor. I worked as the Head of Marketing in a successful conglomerate. I had no use for excessive amounts of money. After some debate we agreed on setting up a trust fund for Hoshi with the money. He could use it after he turned twenty five. 

And then came the next part. 

Compensation for physical / Mental Damage. 

I felt like i was spiraling. 

“None On my side. None.” Taehyung said quickly and I swallowed. 

Ms Lee gave me an encouraging smile. 

“You can be honest Mrs Kim. We’re trying to go for a clean break between the two of you without any resentment carrying over. So its best to be honest. If you feel you need recompense for any emotional distress or abuse Mr. Kim may have put you through, you’re free to tell me. I’ll make sure it goes into record.” 

And this was why I hated the idea of getting divorce. 

That entire dialogue had sounded so...so... terrible. So accusatory and ugly. It wasn’t at all the way I felt about my husband. 

It was just hurt. Plain and simple hurt because he didn’t take me seriously. Because he didn’t think my words were worth listening to. It was hurt laced with fear because he was putting himself in danger with his reckless actions and I wanted him to stop. That’s all it was. 

It was hurt. 

Taehyung had hurt me but it wasn’t emotional distress. It sure as hell hadn��t been abuse.

“None for me either.” I said firmly, honest . 

I glanced at my husband, trying to tell him that I wasn’t just saying it. That it was true. I really didn’t want him to pay me money for what had happened. 

But, Taehyung wouldn’t meet my eyes.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung signed over full custody of Hoshi with a smile. 

“I trust you. “ He said quietly, penning his initials carefully on the document. 

I nodded, feeling a little like drowning.

 We had a very comfortable way of doing things as far as our son was concerned. Taehyung got Hoshi anytime he had time off and also on weekends. 

With a very shifting schedule it was hard for Taehyung to pin down exact dates so we had long decided we would make things easier for each other. He would call me a day or so in advance and i would drop him off at Taehyung’s penthouse or the company. Special days like birthdays were always celebrated in a neutral place with both parties attending. 

Hoshi loved it because it was a pleasant surprise for him, when his dad swooped in out of nowhere and took him off to amusement parks or arcades or swimming. He loved Taehyung . 

So the visitation rights were easy to sketch out. 

It was nothing new but to have it all put down on paper and initialed and notarized....it just felt invasive. Some judge somewhere would read all about how my marriage had crumbled to ashes and would pass judgment on me and that just felt odd. 

 Like airing your dirty laundry. Like letting strangers into your bedroom. 

And the worst part was this :   I felt myself getting upset , anytime Ms. Lee gave the slightest negative connotation to Taehyung’s actions or responsibilities. Anytime she tried to imply that he couldn’t be neglectful as  a father, I wanted to jump right up and defend him. To tell her that he was a better father than the ones who lived 24/7 with their kids and didn’t know a damn thing about them. 

That even as my husband,  he had been so good to me. Had treated me like his best friend, his confidante, his lover. Had never shied away from showing me how much he loved me. Had been the best husband in the whole entire world. 

And I hated myself for it. 

What was wrong with me? 

Why was  I still so fiercely protective of him, I wondered. I hated the idea of him being criticized by anyone for any of it.

 And it made feel like such a hypocrite because if he was so amazing, why on earth were we here??

Why on earth were we getting a divorce if Kim Taehyung was husband and father of the fucking Year?!! 

Was I making a mistake? Had I made a mistake? 

It confused me. These feelings that just refused to go away. I would never act on them because therein lay the path to misery but why were they still there? 

 This desperate clawing urge to make sure he came out of this whole debacle as a good guy. To make sure no one would brand him as a cheater . Because they would. When the divorce went public, they would dig things up and they would know. 

 I didn’t know how I’d gotten to this point where , I could somehow forget everything that was wrong, simply because I wanted to focus on what felt wrong....

Technically I should be happy. 

Taehyung did something unpardonable ( for me, at the time. Now I wasn’t so sure. Now I felt like I could forgive him for it but he hadn’t asked for forgiveness. What he’d asked for was a divorce.  ) and I left him. We were separated . And now finally we were getting a divorce. 

Divorce meant we could finally get out of this no man’s land of uncertainty where we had hung for two whole years and move on, from each other and finally give a label to where we stood. Exes. We were exes. We were done. It was over. 

Hadn’t I just yelled about him about how I liked labels? 

And yet, 

This entire divorce  felt so wrong. So unnecessary.

And in a moment of clarity, as I watched Ms Lee read he whole thing over again for our benefit, I realized why it felt wrong. 

It felt wrong because Taehyung was the one who wanted it. 

Why did Taehyung want it? What had made him want to end it, officially?

Was he seeing someone else? Was he considering seeing someone else? Did he want to start enjoying the single lifestyle again? 

Did he finally take a good long look at our marriage and found nothing worth salvaging anymore? 

My head ached. 

 I couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over. And yet my heart broke at the thought of it. 

Ms Lee finally gathered up all the documents and gave us a wide smile.

“I wish every client I had was this reasonable. You two are a delight .” she shook her head. “ Should we get a drink to celebrate a day well spent?” 

I opened my mouth to accept when Taehyung said, “  Sure, but it would have to be a juice for me. I don’t drink.” 

I felt my heart take a swoop, nosediving to my knees. 

I stared at him, stunned speechless. 

“Haven’t had a drink in two years Mia. I’m done with that shit.” He said softly.

I swallowed. 

“I didn’t know that.” I felt miserable all of a sudden, the weight of what we had just done pressing down on my heart like a 200 pound stone, 

His gaze held mine.

“There’s a lot you don’t know.” 

We stood staring at each other in silence and Ms. Lee cleared her throat. 

“Uh... I just got a text from my next client. Maybe raincheck on the drinks? “

I nodded , watching her leave. Thank you i wanted to say, but for what?

 For ending my marriage of eight fucking years? 

And how ridiculous that very thought was. ..... She hadn’t ended our marriage,   I had. 

“I have the next two days off.” He said casually. 

“You can pick Hoshi up from my mom’s place. I need to head back to the office.” I muttered, choking a little on tears that had sprung out of nowhere. . 

“Hey.” his fingers closed over my wrists tugging me gently and I let myself get pulled into his arms. I hugged him, feeling my tears soak through the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” I choked out. 

He stroked the back of my head gently.

“Me too. “ He pressed a kiss to my hair and it only made me feel worse.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Tae is 35, OC is 32 

[machinegunbun]

UnConventional Bakers [Pete]

Requested? no

word count? 1.7k

TW? None

A/n: it’s like 80% dialogue bc it’s supposed to be a tv show. whadder ya gonna do

The props department did a wonderful job this season, comedy inspired props sprinkled about the set. Mic stands ended in lollipops, rice krispy stools covered in modeling chocolate, Comedians stood at every station, patiently awaiting directions. 

Conventional Bakers was finally ready for shooting its first season. It was a show about famous people coming together on a baking show and competing. It would have everyone from singers to actors or, in this case, comedians. Every season would be inspired by the careers of the people competing.

“On this season of UnConventional Bakers we are joined by,” the camera took turns panning to each comedian as you said their name. 

“Kevin Hart, Pete Davidson, Adam Sandler and…” you paused for dramatic effect “Fluffy!!!”

The comedians protest coming fast after 

Why’d he get all the excitement?” Adam asks

“Yeah, i’m literally your fiance what the fuck.” Pete adds, laughing “I don’t like that, i don’t like that shit. I got my eye on you Gabriel.”

“Don’t hate me cause I'm beautiful.” Fluffy replies

“Bakers! Comedians, whatever,” you call out, trying to regain their attention, Pete playfully mumbled but returned his attention “if you want a chance at winning you will have to pay attention.”

“Got it, go. No wait… yeah okay, go.” Adam interrupts, causing you to bite back a smile. This would be a long shoot

“For tonight's challenge, you’re in for a treat. Because it’s only the first round, we’ll take it easy on you and allow teams.” muted murmurs fell over the room as they decided who would be on whose team, “Tonight we will be making the one thing a comedian couldn’t live without.” Your co-star, Nicole Byers, continues.

“Weed.” Pete guesses,

“No, their audience.”

“Oh, speak for yourself.” 

“You will be making your very own audience cupcakes. When we say go you will head to your baking stations where you will find step by step instructions on how to make your audience, along with photo references and the clock will begin counting down.” You say

“Go, go, go! What are you waiting for?!” Nicole rushes, you take your seat as they make their way to the respective stations. The teams ended up being Pete and Kevin, Gabe and Adam.

Things were going pretty smoothly, the comedians racing back and forth from the ingredients to their stations as things began starting up. As you look around, you see Pete and Kevin looking confused as they stare at the instructions.

“Something wrong, sweety?” you ask

“No, all good over here. Thanks for asking.” Gabe pipes up, you laugh and make your way over to Pete

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I shouldn’t have dropped out of college.”

“How come? What's wrong?”

“I need ⅔   a cup, but there’s not a ⅔  measurement cup.” he says

“Well, if you need ⅔  but there's not one, you just take two--” 

“Don’t patronize me. I got it.” Kevin cuts you off in the middle of explaining, grabbing two handfuls of flour and throwing it in the mixer “There, that should work.” 

You sigh, making your way over to the other stations to check on how everyone else was doing. Adam was doing well, which wasn’t a surprise considering he’s a father and probably does some baking at home.

“Gabe, how are you doing?” 

“Not good, I’m used to eating cake and not making it.”

“Oh hush, you’re doing fine!” You encourage, leaning forward to whisper to him “Kevin just measured flour with his hands, so I think you’ll be okay.”

“Guys, I think they’re talking about you.” Adam yells

“Yeah, I know.” Pete laughs.

“That's okay, cause you know what? Haters gonna hate.” Kevin yells

After making your rounds you sat back down, turning to face a laughing Nicole.

“That wasn’t sugar, that was salt.” She barely squeaks out “They’re gonna be so gross” you nod and laugh along, all but excited for the dishes that would soon be in front of you.

“On that note, can we get some water?” You call out to the team behind you

“And a medic?” Nicole adds

“And a mathematician. You understand this shit?” Pete says

“What? Basic measurements? Yeah baby, I do.” 

Before you knew it the timer had gone off and the cupcakes were sat in front of you. 

“So, these are what your audience were supposed to look like, and this is what they do look like.” Nicole says, vaguely gesturing to the cupcakes

“We- we uh, we took some creative liberties.” Pete says through a laugh

“Well, let’s see what it tastes like.” you say, grabbing one from the crowd and cheersing it with Nicole’s

“Might as well get this over with.” she says, making a clink noise with her mouth, as she does there's another noise too. The rock hard exteriors made a clunk noise. Your jaw dropped as you made eye contact with Nicole, not believing what had just happened

“Wait.” you say, grabbing another and throwing it at the ground with all the force you could muster. It cracked directly in half, crumbs flying across the floor.

“Pete!” you yell, an amused smile painted across your face. Pete laughs, covering his face 

“I have no idea what happened.”he says, picking up the cupcake from the floor

“This is my passion, how did you fuck up this hard?!”

“I have no fucking idea.” he laughs, crumbling it up in his hand.

“I guess we still have to taste it.” you say, grabbing another and cracking a piece off on the table, handing one to Nicole. When you bite down there's an audible crunch that makes everyone in the room wince. You can’t help the expression that overcomes your face as the taste hits your tongue, looking over to Nicole to confirm it wasn’t just you. It wasn’t.

You attempt to open your water, your hand slipping again and again until Pete walks over and opens it for you, feeding you the water as he apologizes through his laughter. It took you a minute of held back gags to recompose yourself, but when you finally did you said,

“Your BLEEP is sweeter than this.” You say, deeply preferring it over the burnt, salty, crunchy thing in front of you.

“Really?” Pete asks, laughing and when you nod your head it only makes him laugh harder.

“Pete, you fucked up Pete.” Kevin says. 

“Dont throw this on him, you’re the one who wouldn’t listen.” You say, looking over to Nicole who had resorted to licking the icing off the cupcake

“Look at what you’ve done to this poor lady. You should be ashamed. It’s gotta be a zero from me” You laugh, more than ready to move on.

“You know what, the icing wasn’t bad,” They began to fight over who had made the icing. “I don’t care, just promise to never do that again. Adam, Gabe, before I take a bite you have to promise me it won’t be like that.” Nicole says, dead serious. They shake their head, letting out little reassurances while choking down their laughter. You take a deep breath before lifting the cupcake to your mouth and taking a small test bite, surely traumatized. 

To your delight, it was actually very good. You smiled and nodded, taking another bite as Kevin and Pete groaned, knowing they’d surely lost.

“I feel like theirs was so bad we can’t even celebrate.” Adam says.

“Yeah, i don’t think we need to add insult to injury by announcing the winners of this round. On to the next?!” You cheer, preparing to announce what would come next.

“For your next challenge, we will be making cupriphon- cupcakeriphones- Okay, the name hasn’t been completely sorted out yet, cupcake microphones!” You announce

“Yes! And because we felt bad for the loser, that’s just in the script so i had to say it, i don’t actually feel bad for you that was disgusting. Because we felt bad for the loser, we decided to give them a leg up. If you look at the stations, two of them have buttons. They’re called the happy heckler buttons and when you press them a timer will be set and either Y/N or myself will go yell encouragement to your teammates until it goes off.” Nicole says

“Awhh, so sweet. Ready? Set? Go!” You yell, watching them scatter to try to find a station.

“Ay, stay back this is mine.” Fluffy says to Adam, haphazardly wielding a knife, momentarily fighting over a station before Nicole reminds them the timer is counting down. They take a look at their ingredients before rushing over to the storage space and grabbing what they need.

You’d managed to get to the decorating stage with little to no issues when you hear Kevin yelling, “Pete! I need your help, I need those long legs pete.” straining to grab something from the top shelf

“Hold on, one second.” He says, glancing back momentarily as he tried to finish decorating.

“Oh shit, you’re already decorating?” Kevin asks as Pete hands him what he needed before walking back to his station.

“Yeah, catch up.” Pete says

“Okay, i’ll catch up, if that's what you want.” Kevin says, slamming his button down in a melodramatic act of sabotage.

Nicole yells in excitement, ready for some action, running over to distract Pete.

“You dick! I thought we were friends.” he says, slamming his own button. You run over, making sure to get in Kevins face as you encourage him, giving him slaps on the back and shaking his shoulders. Things had gotten very chaotic, very fast.

When the four minutes were over you left Kevin’s station for Pete’s, hanging out with him as his cupcakes cooked in the oven. He was bent over in a hug with you, small kisses being pressed to each others lips.

“Doing so good baby.” you mumble, fingers tangled in his hair. Usually you didn’t like PDA, but you had made an exception today because it had been a long shoot and you missed him.

“Way better than last time.” He confirms, remembering last time they had burnt and opting to check the oven.

“Look at that! This aint fair, Pete’s sleepin with the judges!” Kevin yells, making everyone laugh

“You could be too, Kevin.” Nicole winks

“Nicole, you’re both married.” You remind them

“Hey, that's show business baby.” Kevin jokes

When it all came to an end, Adam ended up winning and it was a surprise.. To no one. He was the only one even kind of equipped to win and he rode that all the way to the finish line.

[mearcatsreturns]

From Illusion to Reality, or Luka in ER’s Seasons 10-12

A couple days ago, I got a lovely anon who wanted me to talk about Luka’s journey from season 11 to 12. I may have gone overboard and expanded it. If you’re not interested in the whole, hella long post, I’ll summarize it in a couple pictures:

to

I’ll put it under a cut, because of how long it is, but I’d love comments and dialogue!

To talk about Luka’s trajectory from season 11 to season 12, I think it’s very important to consider season 10 Luka. His “coming back from the dead” served as a sort of topical soft reset on his character--at least to him. That is, while it undoubtedly deeply affected him and those around him and does seem to have led him to important realizations, it didn’t actually change his personality or his desires and loves.

Firstly, when Luka comes back from Africa, sick and with another woman, it’s still readily apparent that his love for Abby hasn’t gone anywhere. He might be able to deal with it better and not self-destruct to the same extent, but at least initially, what was Gillian (and later Sam, but that was more involved)? He’s the same Luka at work, too, though the outward trappings seem different. He still cares about caring for his patients, though he’s still in crisis mode. He has the same disregard for bureaucracy, though it’s about treating as many patients as quickly as he can to help the largest number of them instead of spending all his time with his patients, etc. 

It’s so interesting, because for the first half of season 10, Luka is torn between wanting to go back to Africa--where he even said things seemed simpler--and moving forward, probably with Abby. He legit lights up around her and is looking out for her constantly, and the only reasons they didn’t get together then were fear, some small misunderstandings, and a misguided sense of propriety. Then you can see it happening again--Luka backs off from Abby because he seems to think she’s hung up on Carter and because she’s his student. It’s not as hopeless as before, so he doesn’t spiral out of control, but he legitimately does the same thing he did in season 9 on a smaller scale. Sam thinks Luka is hot, he’s good with Alex, so she makes a pass at him, and Luka passively goes along with her making a move. Sound familiar? Yeah. The biggest difference is that Luka has realized that he was deeply unhappy with non-monogamy, so even though he falls back into sleeping with Gillian pretty quickly (after he forgot about her visit, lmao), when Sam is willing to grant him the opportunity for even a little bit of commitment, he takes it. 

Relatedly, Alex is a huge part of his journey in season 10 and 11. Or rather, Luka’s continuing longing for family and fatherhood. We’ve seen that from pretty much the beginning, and the only time it didn’t seem to be a huge driving force for him was with Abby. When he can’t have Abby and his love for her is thwarted, it’s like he looks for that kind of fulfillment from this idealized notion of family and being a dad again (see: Nicole, Sam). It’s not surprising to me that as Luka thinks Abby is unavailable and uninterested in him, he gets close to child...who has a single mother who thinks he’s good-looking.

It’s not a good fit. Abby describes hers and Carter’s relationship as doomed from the start, and you can easily talk about Luka and Sam the same way.  I could do a more Doylist explanation, but there’s plenty of in-universe material to say this--they and their relationship are plagued by problems from the very beginning. They’re never on the same page, any of them--not Sam, Alex, or Luka. Luka has a hard time articulating what he really does want from them, probably because he doesn’t want to fully examine that for himself. After all, if he has a good woman who cares about him and child he can be a father figure to--though not a father--why would he not be happy? Sam seems to want stability and sex, and Alex...Alex wants a friend. So yes, while there are a lot of external issues that come up, the primary impediment to Luka’s happiness with Sam and Alex (and for them as well!) is internal.            

As we go into season 11, we see, strangely enough, that Luka can’t be around Abby anymore while he’s with Sam. Like, @somekindofflowergirl  and I were looking and thinking about it, and we’re not sure he’s capable of talking to Abby when Sam is around until season 12 (not for more than a few sentences about whatever case they’re working on, at any rate). He starts brushing her off more and more, culminating in him all but dismissing her in 11.02 (shockingly, right after he tells Sam he loves her. Almost like there’s a correlation there, hmmmm). Instead, he focuses on his friendship with Carter and his relationships with Sam and Alex.

As the season goes on, Luka gets more miserable. Carter gets caught up in his own issues, Kerry and Susan are too busy to be there for him, and he’s busy pushing Abby away. But the tension is creeping into his home life, too. Alex lets him know in no uncertain terms that he will never view him as a father. Sam at first drags her feet about moving in with Luka, and then it seems like they have maybe a month or two of living before it sours and never recovers. He just...flounders again. Not as severely or apparently as in season 9, but he’s clearly looking for something again by the end of season 11.

Luka and Sam are on the precipice of breaking up at the end of season 11, but they prolong it for a variety of reasons. On the surface, it’s for Alex’s sake. In reality, it’s because they both want things from their lives that they get all the trappings of together, even if neither of them is happy with it. I mean, it gets to the point where  they can hardly talk at work or home, and Sam even says she doesn’t think they should be together. Then the situation with Steve, Alex’s birth father, blows up and worsens things, and Alex runs away. 

When they’re in the middle of nowhere in this crisis, Luka and Sam actually have to confront how poorly their relationship is going. Well, Sam does, though Luka is still feeling that fear of not having anything left if he loses Sam and Alex completely. But Sam says it eventually--they’ve been pretending for a long time. The truth is out, even when Alex is back. 

Luka, for all his many good qualities, does not handle life deviating from his plan or idea very well. He just straight up goes into denial (again, a recurring theme with him). 

BUT he also does something very right. He lets Abby back in. In season 12, a year after he blows her off, she tentatively reaches out again, just wanting to know if he’s okay after a case. She fully expects him to brush her off again, and you can see the surprise, delight, and relief when he opens up to her. And it’s interesting, because he tells her that he doesn’t want to talk about it with Sam, and that’s probably why Sam is moving out. 

Luka tries to talk to Sam in lockup, though he doesn’t offer any changes, which is fairly telling. And he says something even more telling: “I don’t want this to be one more thing I messed up.” He’s not so afraid of losing Sam herself or Alex, he just doesn’t want to have messed up at love (Abby) and family (his kids and even Danijela) again. He wants to be husband and dad because he remembers being happy in those roles, and even though Sam and Alex didn’t give him that, they gave him a lesser version of it. And since our Catholic boy loves rolling in that guilt and self-blame, he seems to think he should just take what he can get since he’s not worthy of more. When Sam and Alex can’t and won’t even give him crumbs anymore, he...I don’t know. He doesn’t really fall apart, because his heart isn’t really in it. It hasn’t been for a long time, if it ever was in more than a performative way (and Luka, for better or for worse, is not a fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of person). 

Once again, though, Abby is there at a moment where he’s willing to be vulnerable. And he says something so honest about what he wants: to be seen (12.03, “if it were me...would anyone know who I am?”). Abby’s yes, combined with her just being there for him unasked, seems to immediately grant him peace in that regard. He is seen and he is cared for. 

Luka never shows any signs of having feelings for Sam again, though he still looks out for her and Alex if they seem to be in trouble, but it’s no more than he’s done for friends and even strangers. In fact, they’re so back to friendly and professional by the next episode that it’s annoying and counter-productive when Eve tries scheduling them for different shifts.

Something else seems to have happened: Luka doesn’t rush off into an ill-advised romance or series of hookups. He isn’t pining, but he’s not frantically searching for family and fatherhood again, either. Given that each episode has them having a nice scene together that emphasizes their growing closeness and comfort together, it isn’t unreasonable to think that Abby is part of this. He isn’t pushing for more, but that’s not who he is with her, not after their first relationship. If friendship is all she can offer, that seems to be enough for him. In reality, it’s Abby being enough for him, but we’ll get to that later.

At that same time, one of Luka’s foils, Victor Clemente, arrives. Clemente exists narratively to be a catalyst for action in Luka’s life (which is why his role is such a mess once he’s accomplished that, but I digress) and it works like a charm. They butt heads from the start, and it’s the prospect of Clemente running the ER that goads Luka into applying for the position of chief. Kerry was right, it’s not his style at all, but also? A way for him to be everyone’s dad. (And yes, he’s better at it than Clemente would have been.) It gives him another marker of professional success, even if his personal life isn’t where he wanted it to be. As Luka’s foil, Clemente is also perceptive while Luka is oblivious. As such, he seems to see right through Luka and Abby to their connection, and he needles both, seemingly to get at Luka. It works, and as Abby says in 12.07 after their child patient dies, Abby ends up in the middle of it. 

Then, at the end of The Human Shield, Abby goes to Luka. This time she isn’t reaching out to him and going to him to support him, but to justifiably yell at him for putting her in the middle of a conflict between him and Clemente. But more importantly, Abby went to him and told him how she felt. She was vulnerable with him. And that...that was something he’d rarely seen, and not in a long time. Finally, that having woken him up to hope once again, he did something he hadn’t done in a long time: he took action. And that was something he didn’t do much, mostly with Abby, and he starts exploring it more throughout season 12.

I’m not going to turn this into a Luby meta (though I could also do that if anyone wanted, ahahaha), but 12.07-12.10 is Luka stepping forward and making choices. For love of Abby. He doesn’t push her for more so much as very obviously hope for it and ask, in his way, if she’s as in as he is. 

This extends to his professional life too! He (very sexily and pettily at the same time) takes charge of his new position and fires someone his first shift as chief. It was the right thing to do and he did it, but it wasn’t a passive reaction to something happening to him. 

Then at the end of 12.10, Abby drops the bombshell that she’s pregnant. Once he recovers from the shock of that, he does seem to spring into action, but...reserved action? He isn’t as proactive as he’s been so far, but he is also scared out of his mind that he’s going to lose Abby. Here he is, seemingly with everything he’s wanted for YEARS within reach. Not just a family, but Abby. And not just Abby, but a baby with her. But he also has years of experience with Abby, and he knows her fears, and he doesn’t want to lose her by scaring her off or pushing her for something she doesn’t want or that would make her miserable. 

So Luka lets Abby know what he wants but leaves it up to her, while also making one big mistake: he’s not clear about how much he loves her. He showed her with the compass, with gestures and moments, but he doesn’t seem to realize how much Abby needs the words. This is also typical Luka.

I love If Not Now (12.11) as part of his journey, because it’s when you finally see Luka realize, if he didn’t before, what matters most to him. He goes to Abby and tells her in no uncertain terms that it’s not about the baby, that he wants her no matter what. And that’s HUGE. Family and fatherhood have been a motivator for him for at least 4 or 5 of his 6 years on the show so far, so for him to say “yes, that would be nice, but Abby is the important one to me” represents a big shift. It gets swept over a bit in the subsequent and also life-changing news that she wants them to have the baby together and hasn’t had an abortion.

Most of the back half is solidifying what’s come before for Luka. We see him become more assertive professionally. He dotes on Abby and shows his commitment to her over and over, though it is interesting that in spite of how obviously in loved and devoted he (they, really) is, he doesn’t explicitly state it. I kind of think he’s worried that pushing for that, for everything that he wants, is asking too much of the universe. After all, he has the woman he loves and they’re having a baby together. 

You also see his compassion, not just with the patients, but in how he breaks his and Abby’s news to Sam. I don’t know that it was better for him to have told her, but it was a kind impulse borne out of a desire to do the right thing, and she knew that. 

Things get interesting again in Strange Bedfellows (12.18), when Luka tells Abby he’s thinking about going to Darfur to help Carter. We also find out Luka hasn’t told Carter about him and Abby or the baby. It seems a little odd of a choice for him, honestly. Not the keeping Abby and him and the baby a secret--I think that’s more compassion when he seems to have picked up on Carter and Kem maybe not doing so well and their continued mourning of Joshua--but the idea of going to Darfur. He’s new enough in his position as chief that it wouldn’t have been allowed, for starters, so I don’t think he’d have been able to go. And maybe that’s it--it was something he could do to help and make the world a better place for his baby (shoutout to @somekindofflowergirl again for this theory), and he wanted to try to go but probably knew he wouldn’t be able to. Also, he’s kind of an idiot sometimes, and one who sometimes loses track of the details when looking at the big picture. Which he did big time. 

But Abby, as she often does, grounds him and lifts him up at the same time. She makes it clear that he can go, but that she wants him there and wants everything with him. And that’s it for Luka. He’s already made it so he could stay, but you can see the light of “oh, maybe I can have everything I’ve yearned for” go off. The next couple of episodes show them settling into their commitment even more. 

Then the finale of season 12 comes (though I’m going to carry this through 13.02, as that feels like the real end of the season to me), and they’re clearly domestic and cute. For all Abby saying they don’t live together/hinting broadly for more clarification, they clearly have built a home together. I think Luka is trying to get her to realize she lives with him without saying it, which is a strategy, if not the best one. The second Abby voices her uncertainty, though, Besotted Idiot Luka jumps straight to saying they should get married, instead of, you know, telling Abby he loves her and wants to move forward with her. 

I think his reaction is another example of him poorly handling...it’s not rejection, it’s just they’re coming to the same thing from different perspectives. They do affirm their love, and it’s clear they would have dealt with things had they not been interrupted by everything that ensued. 

But interrupted they were. Abby’s abruption, Joe’s birth, Abby’s hysterectomy, Joe’s close call...what an interruption.Luka makes it so clear throughout that he’s there for Abby, that she’s his family. He obviously loves Joe and is devastated that he might be in danger and that they won’t be able to have a bigger family (though not as devastated as Abby, interestingly). That said, he renews his proposal to her and is CERTAIN of their love, even with the strain and uncertainty of Joe’s life.

Within a couple of years, he’s moved from trying so hard to look like he had everything together and trying to force it to having everything he’s wanted and more, even with the thorns and pain. It’s so much more than he could have hoped for, and he is more hopeful and settled.

[ernmark]

Do you have any theories about how Nureyev is going to interact with Juno in the beginning of the next season, and what their dynamic will be like? Peter’s so hard for me to read, I can’t tell what’s going on in his head, but his line at the end didn’t seem to have any malice in it.

Continued: Obviously peter knew juno was part of the crew but like is the job just Worth it (if juno isn’t in his good books)?

I ADORE that I have gotten multiple asks about this in the first couple of days since the episode aired– and that you’re asking me to make coherent guesses based on all of seven words of dialogue.

That just makes me really freakin’ happy.

So let’s break it down a little:

The theory goes that anytime someone experiences a loss, they’re going to go through the five stages of depression. Anger, denial, depression, bargaining, and acceptance, in whatever order, and I think Juno walking out on him was a big enough blow to count as a loss. The thing is, I have no idea where Peter is currently. So let’s look at them all. 

(Thank god for READ MOREs, because this is gonna be long.)

Bargaining

For being A Man Without A Past, Peter Nureyev sure as hell makes a whole lot of callbacks to his and Juno’s shared past right when Juno’s trying to move on with his life.

Let’s look at the last time Peter uttered almost those exact words, in Midnight Fox:

JUNO (NARRATOR): It’s more trouble than it’s worth. History, I mean– relationships with other people. You regret things you knew you had to do; you do things you know you shouldn’t. And why? Another warm body in your bed doesn’t help anything – it doesn’t stop killers or end hunger or make the world any better than it is. Just makes your bed a little warmer. That’s all. That’s all.

[…]

That’s why I don’t bother with all that. This is the new Juno Steel, now; the PI who doesn’t let a pretty face stop him from doing what matters. The PI whowon’t let history weigh him down. Without a past to hold him down, a guy could take on the world. And in the morning… once I get a little sleep… that’s what I’ll do.

JUNO: (MUTTERING TO HIMSELF) Can’t remember the last time I was this tired… Where’s that damn light switch?NUREYEV: Hello, Juno. It’s been a while.JUNO:  Nureyev?!NUREYEV: The very same. Don’t get too comfortable, Detective. We’re leaving immediately.JUNO: If you think I’m going anywhere with you—NUREYEV: I don’t think, Juno. I know. You called me, after all – by way of one Valles Vicky.JUNO: You’re Vicky’s… This can’t be happening.NUREYEV: It is, I’m afraid, and I’ve neither the time nor inclination to prove what’s plainly in front of you. Now, put on your coat and give me your keys. We’ve a long night ahead of us.

The reason I copied the entire scene is that I’m using it as context. 

In Midnight Fox, Juno resolves to distance himself from the past. He tells himself that he’s moving on with his life and trying to take it into a new direction… tomorrow. Seconds later, Peter shows up, posing in Juno’s apartment with the lights off.

Similarly, in Soul of the People, Juno is taking physical action to move on from the past by boarding a ship with a bunch of near-strangers (and Rita), and Peter shows up, dramatically posing on a car.

Notably, in Midnight Fox, Peter is decisively cold towards Juno. There is no flirtation, there is no banter. It’s crisp and clean and straightforward. He interrupts Juno. He gives him instructions that leave no room for argument. 

It is quite possible that this is the kind of attitude that we’re going to see from Peter, at least initially, especially considering the way Juno left. He’s got a job to do, and he intends to see it done.

The thing is, his cold tone doesn’t last long. Over the course of the hours that they spend driving to the Oasis, Peter goes back to flirting, to playing, to showing off. I suspect that he’s too mercurial to hold a grudge for very long against someone he likes. 

But let’s look again at his entrance in Soul of the People:

He repeats, verbatim, the line that he said at their last reunion: Hello, Juno. It’s been a while. He’s deliberately calling back to their last grand adventure in the Oasis Casino, the train robbery, their weeks underground in the Martian Tomb, their fight against Miasma.

He’s sitting on the Ruby 7– the car they stole together, the car they drove back to Hyperion City after it all ended. And he’s sitting on the hood (as Sophie, Kevin and Joshua said non-canonically, “knee up, booty popped”) posing dramatically. Vain as he is, he’s not putting on that show for Rita.

All of these little callbacks communicate very clearly that he wants Juno to remember what they had, and that at least on some level, he wants Juno back.

He could easily be thinking, “I got you into bed once and I can do it again,” and just be constantly throwing himself at his favorite grumpy lady, which would be a delight. 

Depression

On the other, there is a not-insignificant chance that he’ll be far more closed off and less flirty than he was before. The first–and last– time they were intimate, Juno was only halfway reciprocating. He was traumatized and numb and still halfway considering suicide, and honestly? Sex probably was not the best thing for him right then. There’s a strong chance that Peter decided that he was wrong to push it the way he did, and then overcompensate by trying to remain entirely platonic out of guilt, despite his own wishes. 

You could actually get some really good drama with that– with both of them thinking that the other one wouldn’t want to pick up the relationship again, and both of them miserably pining for the other while everyone else in the ship collectively facepalms. (Honestly, I’m kinda hoping a little bit for that one.)

Disorientation

(It’s not an official stage of grief, but bear with me)

Even before Juno left, Peter had trouble keeping up with Juno’s changing moods– largely because they tended to be steered by Juno’s depression than by any external logic (and it wasn’t like Peter could research a formal diagnosis, because Juno’s gone out of his way to avoid anyone who could give him one). 

Juno started to warm up to him– particularly when they were in danger– and then suddenly would go cold and mean when things seemed to be going well. They won a card game, and then Juno accused him of trying to kill him. They beat Engstrom and successfully stole the Egg, and Juno demanded that he give up the Ruby 7. They defeated Miasma, and Juno started talking way too enthusiastically about mass suicide. They slept together, and in the morning he was gone. 

Knowing what we know about the inside of Juno’s head, that makes sense– he’s scared to trust, scared to have loved ones who could leave him, scared to have anything good in his life that he could potentially ruin, and so he’d lash out and isolate himself. 

Without that context, though, it paints a confusing picture– so confusing that it’s really hard to guess exactly how Peter interpreted Juno’s leaving in the first place. 

And that’s going to get even more confusing now that Juno’s trying so hard to be better. 

Peter knew a very specific incarnation of Juno, and the Juno we have now is a very different person. He’s going to have to get reacquainted with this new Juno Steel, who acknowledges his mistakes and apologizes when he hurts people and lets go of the past, who isn’t nearly as grumpy or surly as he used to be and is maybe still figuring himself out after all this time. A lot of the things that Peter used to do to get under his skin will just glance off him now– and maybe the little flirtations that Peter expected to just bounce off might actually be openly reciprocated.

And that’s gonna be weird. 

What I’m saying is that Peter’s going to have to internally recalibrate, and that’s gonna be weird, and I don’t know how much of it we’re going to see on the surface. 

Maybe he’ll see it as a game, but he may just as easily get frustrated and upset at Juno for being so difficult to figure out. 

Denial

Let’s not forget: Peter Nureyev compartmentalizes like a champ. 

He could be 100% in the same mode that he was in when he and Juno were working together against Engstrom for quite some time, and only later admit to Juno (or even himself) that he was hurt by the way Juno left.

Alternatively, he could deny to himself, at least) that he ever actually loved Juno in the first place. He’d still play and flirt with Juno, but only in the way he does with everybody, without the sincerity and vulnerability he expressed before. 

Anger

I’ve mentioned it several times as part of the other stages, but there’s a lot of room for anger.

The fact that Peter is lounging on the Ruby 7 takes on a slightly different meaning when you remember that Juno made Peter promise to turn it into the police, and now he’s flagrantly showing off that he still has it. In the same vein, Peter promised that if Juno didn’t want him, he’d leave Mars and never return– now here he is in all his glory. There is something defiant and vindictive about that kind of display.

If he struggles to keep up with Juno’s latest change of heart, there’s room for him to get frustrated and angry– for a lot of reasons, really. I could never see him getting violent with Juno, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we see Peter responding to a relatively minor slight with a cold and cutting remark, as an expression of the anger from everything that happened before. 

[matildainmotion]

A Fairy Tale School, and A Chance to Change the Story

Once upon a time there was a very special school. It was the flagship Steiner school, the longest-running one in the UK, on the edge of a great forest. Let me tell you about it.

The grounds are stunning – great old oaks, rolling lawns, deer, a stream, an iron spring. The facilities are amazing – a big gym, a proper theatre, a huge vegetable garden, a carpentry workshop, even a forge where you can make a real sword which they showed us on the school tour, the jewellery, the axes and blades that students had made in the fire, like something straight out of a story. I could see my son, the proud owner of three lightsabres, being happy there. My husband and I are theatre-makers and writers: story is the stuff of our work, and here was an educational system with stories at its heart - fairy tales, fables, saints’ tales, Norse and Greek myths, shaping the curriculum.

So we went for it. Like many others we made momentous changes in order to bring our son, now aged 7, to this school, and in time my daughter too, now aged 2. My mother sold the family home after 55 years so that she could buy a small house in Forest Row where she and I and the children could live. My husband had to stay in London because of work – we’d see him at weekends and in the holidays. It would be hard but it was worth it, for the school. I have heard many similar tales – of people coming from much further afield than London, from Japan, from America so their children can come here.

To make such major changes people are following big dreams, high ideals, deeply held convictions. What are mine? I do not necessarily want ‘the best for my children’ – I think ‘best-ness’ is overrated. Coming from a family of highly powered Oxford academics I tried to be the best and get the best for many years and it left me in a mess. I want rather to give my children a good chance of coming out of school in one piece, whole, connected to themselves, to a community, not ready for the big wide world – that old narrative of adventure and conquest – but rather already in it, present in the world and ready to care for it and each other as well as they can in these uncertain times. Wholeness, community and connection, an ability to be vulnerable and to act from a place of integrity - those were the things I was after when we upped and moved ourselves here at the end of last summer, ready for the start of the new school year.

Very soon after our arrival on the edge of Ashdown Forest, full of hope, I was struck by the amount of cynicism I encountered. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised – where you find dreams that big, you are going to find disappointment on a similar scale. In the woods where Winnie the Pooh lives, there also dwells Eyeore: “Your son’s going to Michael Hall? Oh well, good luck with that – I hope he fares better than me, but I doubt he will,” – heavy sigh, returns to thistles and damp, lonely corner. The pessimism, juxtaposed with the optimistic dreams that also surround the school, have reminded me not only of Eyeore’s gloom but even a level up - the desperate, intractable situations found in many fairytales and myths: the most beautiful king’s daughter that has fallen terribly sick and cannot be cured; the monster that haunts the lands that were once full of wonder; the evil empire that is trying to take over the universe and kill off the amazing Jedi.

Meanwhile, sometimes all is well in the woods, the kingdom, the universe. Peace reigns. I have heard hopeful stories too. I was amazed and encouraged by how many parents are old scholars. I am much more used to the narrative of “I am never letting my child go through what I had to endure” than the story of “I had such a great time at school, I want the same for my little one.” My son was and is having a good time in class one. He is an intense lad, with big emotions and grand ideas, and so far the school have been very quick to respond to his needs and challenges. His teacher is wonderful and there is a gradually growing sense of community amongst the parents of the class. For all of this I am deeply grateful.

As far as I can tell, from the anecdotes I have gathered in the short time I have been here, the school is brilliant until it isn’t - until something goes wrong, until the monster/ sickness/ evil fairy turns up. I realize this is tautological – the problems begin when the problems begin – but problems will always show up, so the true problem is not the monster but how we respond to it. All too often our knee jerk response is to blame another, and with this ‘us’ and ‘them’-ness kicks in, the good guys and the baddies, the innocents and the guilty. First off, inside this story we are in, there is the parent body versus the school – ‘us’ being the parents and ‘them’ being the school - how the school does not listen and never changes. I have encountered the story the other way round too- the school versus the parents – the parents who are always complaining, ready to attack, but rarely listen, or turn up in low numbers when the school has tried to lay on an event in response to a parent request. I have also heard about internal ‘us’ and ‘them’ dynamics: the teachers versus the management and an iteration of the same story and Eyeore-like complaint, “They never listen. No one understands.”

I tried to learn more about the structure of the school and found it incredibly difficult. Even those who have apparently been here for many years could not easily explain to me how it actually operates. I gathered there were different elements- a council, trustees, an Education Management Team, teachers, office staff – but how these positions fitted together and ran everything remained mysterious, a kind of tangled thicket of roles growing around the mansion and keeping princes and parents from being able to break in and have any impact. I had come in quest of wholeness, connection, community, integrity and I was finding people who felt disempowered, fractured and stuck.

           In the absence of any head teacher, a hallmark of traditional Steiner schools, from the way people talked ‘The School’ had become in itself a kind of mythical authority figure, hard to reach and impossible to change. I like a challenge and I am not very good at cynicism (though I do a good line in imagining terrible happenings and did, in fact, identify with Eyeore as a child) so I joined the Parents Working Group (PWG) to see if I could make a positive contribution to the school. I had spent the first term feeling like a failure as a Steiner parent because I cannot sew to save my life, had to buy instead of make my son’s crayon roll and could be of very little help in crafting anything for the Advent Fair, so I figured I had better find another way to play my part in the school community.

           When I told people about the PWG and its aim to initiate and hold space for constructive dialogue with the school and support positive change, I was hit by a fresh wave of cynicism: “Ah, be careful the school will take all it can get from you, suck you dry and spit you out!”; “Well, good luck with that. You might make a small dent in its side but that’ll be it!” So there we have it – the school as the monster, the dragon that can devour you and that has such massive scaly flanks it can barely be dented, despite the beautiful swords that its pupils forge on its grounds. Or the school as an institution wrapped in creepers and thickets, under a heavy curse that cannot be lifted.

           Enter stage right a strange knight in heavy armour with clipboards for shields and a knife of regulation, an outsider, called Sir Ofsted - hero or villain? He rode from the city to the woods, slashed through the thickets, confronted the dragon, gave Sleeping Beauty an “Inadequate” kiss – blessing or further curse? - and lo and behold we all woke up. And, as in the original story, everyone woke up: the kings, the courtiers, the cooks and the gardeners, the parents, the teachers and the management. After 100 years of Steiner education we all have an amazing chance to wake up and decide what happens now, shape how the story unfolds from here. Let me pause at this cliff hanger to introduce a new strand of narrative.

           15 years ago my husband, Phelim McDermott, was feeling fed up. He works in theatre. He runs a company called Improbable, which makes big shows and tiny ones, with improvisation at their core. He had dedicated his whole life to theatre, he felt passionate about it, and he spent much of his time complaining about it. He was often angry about how it was carried out, about how people did not listen to each other and things did not change (notice the parallels to our other story). He was doubly fed up – frustrated by the ways things were done and frustrated by hearing himself moan about it but unable to do anything effective. He came across a book: Open Space Technology, A User’s Guide by Harrison Owen. It described a way for groups to self-organise around issues of shared concern, a way that was radically non-hierarchical, refreshingly playful, able to cut to the heart of complex situations really fast and allow truths to emerge and change to begin. He thought he would give it a go. It sounded like a good improvisation exercise. He followed the instructions in the book and wrote an invitation (step 1). He called it ‘Devoted and Disgruntled’ because that’s what he was feeling. It’s a good title and if I could I would steal it to use here at Michael Hall for all the many deeply devoted and disgruntled people whom I have met here. To his amazement and delight people responded to his invitation – about 200 people turned up (step 2). And it was incredible. Now, instead of the constant moaning, people were getting to work, fuelled by their passion and devotion, connecting, taking action, agreeing on change (step 3). 15 years later Devoted and Disgruntled has transformed the landscape of the performing arts in the UK. We have run literally hundreds of Open Space events under this banner, in every corner of the country and even overseas. We have an entire website dedicated to this great, unfolding conversation. Check it out: www.devotedanddisgruntled.com. Some people worry that it is ‘just’ a conversation, a talking shop – but almost all change starts with a conversation and an enormous number of actions have come out of our Open Spaces: shows made, companies formed, new initiatives, collaborations, even marriages (my own included) have emerged out of our events. It is an amazing practice, a brilliant tool – not a sword, but a circle, an open space.

           Having witnessed first hand the impact of opening space on the UK theatre scene, how it harnesses the devotion and helps to shift the disgruntlement, I want to bring it here, to our school, now in this moment more than ever. I think it holds the power of a forge – the hot, glowing place that can make hard things soft and malleable again, where change and transformation is possible. And yet it is beautifully simple. You send out an invite. (I have done this– it was in the last Friday Flier (You can read it here: http://www.michaelhall.co.uk/friday-flier) People who want to be there come along. We sit in a circle and a facilitator explains how it works – anyone who wants to call a session can do so, by writing the title on a piece of paper and putting it up on the wall. Together we co-create an agenda. Then we get to work and we follow the magical and yet entirely pragmatic ‘law of two feet’: you don’t stay where you don’t want to be, you follow yourself and go where your time and energy will be best used, and only you know where that is. This is the radical non-hierarchy of it – the fixed roles can fall away and a new fluidity is possible. Not ‘us’ and ‘them’ but me and you, listening to each other and having a conversation on an issue about which we both care deeply and on which we both want to act.

           There are many things that I am sure need to change within the school, but fundamentally, for me, the underlying shift that needs to happen is a cultural one. I think we need to start to model the sense of agency and possibility that I am sure we all hope the education is giving to our children. We need to wake up inside the story and notice how we are part of shaping it – we are not passive victims of a terrible curse from a wicked fairy or an evil dragon, or at least as well as playing the part of the victim, there are times when we also step into the role of the dragon, steam coming out of our ears, and curses falling out of our mouths. Notice these. And this fire, these strong words, whomever they come from – teacher, parent, manager - are not bad. They are potent, they are passionate and they are integral to our ability to bring about change.

When my son was in Kindergarten, at another Steiner school in London, he came home one day, in his first term, with a complaint. It was Michaelmas and they had been told a story about a dragon, “But the dragon didn’t do much! It wasn’t scary enough. They tamed it too quickly.” So there we have it. In opening space I don’t want to tame all the dragons. I want them to come. All of them. I want the dragons, I want the kings and the queens, the princes and princesses, I want the peasants, the wicked stepmothers, the caring fathers, the confounded leaders, wise teachers, the witches, the wolves. If you identify with any of these roles, please come. If I have left your role off the list please come and put it on there – make sure it is part of the story. Because right now we have an incredible opportunity to shape what happens next – this is in fact always true, but thanks to the dubious Sir Ofsted we just all managed to notice it.

I am not looking for a happy-ever-after ending. Or even an ‘outstanding-ever-after.’ I want what I wanted when I and my family decided to move here: I want connected-ever-after. Actually even ‘ever-after’ sounds like rather a high demand from which we might all come crashing down with a sense of failure. I will settle for connected-a-good-deal-of-the-time, whole as much as possible, in community through the rough and the smooth. What do you want? How do you wish your story and the school’s story to unfold from here? I am inviting you to come and tell me, and others. Because telling is the beginning of making. Making is the start of happening. The details of the dates and the times are here- http://www.michaelhall.co.uk/pwg- I look forward to seeing you there and to hearing your tales and those of others – the more diverse the better - and to us creating a new one together.

[theinquisitivej]

A Quartet of Reviews: Missing Link, Pet Semetary, Shazam!, and Hellboy (2019)

Missing Link

As the technical accomplishments and detailed beauty of Laika’s stop-motion films are part of the reason I’ve chosen to study stop-motion animation for my current academic research, you’ll forgive me if I approach their fifth film with some bias. Plus, box office numbers suggest that a lot more people really should be seeing these, so the more voices there are singing Laika’s praises the better, frankly.

         Missing Link is notably ambitious in that it strives to deliver an action adventure in the vein of Around the World in 80 Days or The Mummy (the Brendan Fraser one, not the “DARK UNIVERSE” one- yes, that did happen, and it is hard to remember), with multiple thrilling and complex action sequences, all in stop-motion. Given the labour-intensive nature of stop-motion and the limitations you’d typically expect of a medium that’s executed through real models that have a weight and substance to them that makes them less flexibly fluid than cel or digital animation, stories with an emphasis on dynamic action aren’t what you’d typically expect when it comes to stop-motion. And yet Laika demonstrate their full commitment to making Missing Link an energetic blockbuster through impressive choreography and painstakingly realised action set-pieces. While the charming characters and light-hearted tone help you stay engaged with the narrative, you’ll be constantly taken back by the seamless merging of traditional methods and modern technology in the animation which makes you sit up and take notice as you wonder how they managed to put together each scene. The best use of digital effects are the times where you’re not entirely certain it’s even there, and Laika’s approach to this modern tool definitely fits in that category.

         The film never quite reaches a point of emotional intensity that leaves me completely floored, as some of Laika’s previous films have managed to do. I didn’t walk away from the film remembering a moment where a character’s vulnerabilities are laid bare or a difficult but essential lesson is imparted in the most brutally earnest way. So, when compared against ParaNorman or Kubo and the Two Strings, Missing Link left less emotional impact on me. Having said that, the film still conveys numerous themes effectively through key story beats and striking visuals, with its central thesis being the importance of learning empathy towards others, and that you shouldn’t seek validation from close-minded proponents of outdated and toxic principles. As such, through a combination of entertaining characters with likable personality, an emphasis on globetrotting action, its refreshingly positive outlook, and tremendous animation on both the large and the small-scale across the board, Missing Link is a delightful adventure that you should make a point of seeing.

Final Ranking: Silver.

Boasting charm, an infectious sense of humour, and perhaps the best action I’ve seen in a stop-motion film, Missing Link absolutely meets the standard of quality that you’d expect from a Laika production.

 Pet Semetary

As many other people discussing this film have noted, Pet Semetary is a Stephen King story that’s notable for being so bleak that even Stephen King felt it was too dark. He hesitated to submit it for publishing for three years, only submitting it when he needed to meet a deadline for a contract. In the subsequent years, King has been critical of the “nothing matters” mentality of the story. With that in mind, as well as the knowledge that several people I follow whose opinions on film I trust were not fond of it, I was prepared for the possibility that I wouldn't enjoy it, but nevertheless open to the film surprising me. After all, Stephen King is a consistently entertaining storyteller, and I’m always interested to see how people adapt his work. For a while, things seemed okay enough. Then it started to drag around the middle, and then it took a hard, fast, ugly turn, descending into the most distasteful experience I’ve had in a cinema this year.

         As that summary indicates, the set-up is intriguing enough. A family move into a new home, and there are little signs that things aren’t quite right around here, as well as the telltale indications of a traumatic past that have left some of the characters with residual hang-ups that they will inevitably be forced to confront, and the tantalising promise of something unnatural on the horizon that will draw our protagonists in as they descend into horror. It’s competent ground laying work, and apart from the horrifying past of one of the character’s being uncomfortably demonising of the sick, and a lack of a distinctive visual style for the film to call its own, I didn’t have many serious issues with the first third or so.

         Once you approach the middle portion of the film, things start to feel protracted. Even if you haven’t seen a trailer or heard the gist of this story and have a decent idea about the trajectory of its narrative, there comes a point where you start to know exactly where things are heading. Discussions of death and what may or may not come afterwards, repeated reminders of how dangerous and unexpected high-speed vehicles on the road outside their house can be, and allusions to some unknowable force that can make impossible things happen which the father of this family absolutely must not approach are all dots that anyone familiar with the phrase “monkey’s paw” can join together with little difficulty. Without an engaging dynamic between characters (a la IT), a self-aware bizarreness that results in humour, or a notable visual style, there’s little to keep you going as you wait for pieces to very, very slowly fall into place.

         And the final act is just awful. It spits course language and nihilistic vitriol with little substance or point to its depictions of pain, misery, and spitefulness other than to wallow in this negativity with nothing else to say. Actors start to abandon any semblance of understated nuance in favour of ham-fisted bluntness, cursing out characters with an intensity that doesn’t feel earned as they clumsily fight against them in a way that lacks any sense of climactic satisfaction, and, because your investment in these characters rapidly drains with each new questionable decision and unlikable action, there’s no tension to these encounters either. There are numerous instances where the actors will do their best to deliver lines of dialogue that try to be shocking or wryly dark, but the material is so poorly thought out that it awkwardly misses the mark in both categories. It’s especially galling as the film spent so much time and effort on getting to this conclusion that it was trying to amp up as this big, horrifying finale that will shake you, when instead it’s just underwhelming and unpleasant without any purpose to itself. I was wishing for it to end, and yet when the credits began to roll, I couldn’t help but ask “wait, is that it?” It’s a limp ending with little meaning that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Final Ranking: Cardboard.

Pet Semetary’s first act offers some potential, but that’s all it is: potential. The middle act spends so long getting to where it needs to be and where the audience knows it’s going that, by the time it gets there, it spends what little time it has left on cruel, structureless nihilism without taking any ownership for the unpleasant material it lays down at your feet.

 Shazam!

The DC movies are in a great place right now. I’ve yet to see James Wan’s Aquaman, but from the abundance of positive things I hear about it, as well as the profound impact Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman had on audiences, James Gunn and a whole lot of appealing casting choices being attached to the next Suicide Squad film, and the great feelings I have about the energy that the Birds of Prey teaser indicated, I’m very optimistic about the future of DC films. Now that Shazam! has released and proved to be a positively uplifting delight, my outlook on this series is cheerier than ever!

         Hm? What about that Joaquin Phoenix Joker movie? Well... my feelings towards that are… complicated. I’ll save my thoughts on it for another time, but suffice to say, I think the film has the potential to be great, but I worry about the way it will be received, and that the worst crowd will embrace it and take the wrong lessons from it.

         Anyway, for the here and now, Shazam is a refreshing blend of joyous levity and unexpected intensity. The film offers endearing comedy with teens and pre-teens acting like excited kids who enjoy doing dopey things but can still come across as insightful and having an emotional heart to them that makes you happy to spend time with them. But it’s never saccharine and, through a fleshed out script and a cast of sharp young actors and actresses, there’s a clear sense of authenticity which makes these adolescent characters seem grounded and well-observed. Something I appreciated is that, whenever the film goes into background details of the history of magic in this world, grandiose prophecies of mystical destinies, or the villain going into his sinister plans, it’s usually being talked about by grown adults who are taking themselves way too seriously. The best exemplar of this is Mark Strong who plays the villain, Dr. Sivana, with an intensity that deliberately comes across as hammy, and the young characters within the film pick up on this and play off him in a way that deflates his bluster and points out how ridiculous he’s being. As a result, the tone of Shazam! feels like it’s poking good-natured fun at prior DC projects and other big budget action blockbusters where stone faced adults spout clichéd speeches without any sense of self-awareness. It’s an approach that points out how some modes of behaviour that are often associated with maturity and being an adult are actually quite childish when you take a step back. As a superhero film that focuses on the experience of being the age where you’re young enough that you still enjoy being a kid, but old enough that you want to call adults out on their bullshit, Shazam! is impressively realised and fun as hell.

         But for as light-hearted as it can be, Shazam! nevertheless surprises you with the occasional brutal sequence that catches you off guard with such rapidity that I found it relatively shocking. It’s not so detailed, gory, or explicit enough that I’d say it goes too far, but it’s worth bearing in mind before you show it to a particularly young and impressionable viewer. The benefit of these sequences is that the unexpected escalation accentuates how in over his head Billy is when he eventually comes across a situation that’s genuinely dangerous, as, despite his newfound powers, he is still a kid, and he really shouldn’t be facing this kind of thing. Indeed, the film demonstrates an impressive grasp of and dedication towards themes of maturity as Billy faces difficult truths about something he thought he wanted and realises he’s been looking in the wrong place for what he actually craves, as well as develops into a more responsible version of himself that opens up to being part of a group built on mutual trust. There’s a cleverly subtle visual indication of the progress Billy has made by the end of the film where he remembers to lower his head as he walks through a door while in his superpowered adult form. One of the first things Billy does when he first transforms is hit his head on a train door to show how unused he is to this new body. The simple act of Billy seeing the doorframe and lowering his head as he steps through without any hesitation near the end of the film signifies the control Billy has developed over himself and his own actions, making his journey of maturation resonate that much more with me. The impact of shocking dark turns and the firm, confident grasp the film has on its cohesive themes of maturation and finding your place in life elevates Shazam! from a fun time to an uplifting and refreshing story that I think people are going to really enjoy for a long while.

Final Ranking: Silver.

Energetic, full of character, and with a strongly executed theme of maturation, Shazam! is highly recommended. It is perhaps a little longer than it needs to be, which results in the latter parts of the middle section feeling a little drawn out. Having said that, the finale sends a jolt of electricity through you that makes you forget any objections you might have and remember all the positive qualities that make this film so likable.

 Hellboy (2019)

Oof… why did I decide to end this collection of reviews on Hellboy (2019) and write this after three other sections? Sigh… okay, let’s get this over with.

It would be insincere of me to say I'm the most impassioned proponent of the Guillermo del Toro Hellboy films. I found them memorable and atmospheric, and you could certainly feel the characteristic flair from the many people that put their artistic touch on those films to create something unique that marked them out from other comicbook movies, which is especially impressive in the mid-2000s, pre Iron Man era. But after going through the slog that is Hellboy (2019), I think I’m more appreciative than ever of what del Toro and his team managed to achieve.

         For a while, it seemed like this new R-rated version of Hellboy was angling for a more faithful adaptation of the original books by Mike Mignola, given the various interviews that were had about it over the years. Sadly, the final result feels like the result of too many outside influences dictating what the film should feature, culminating in a hodgepodge of a film which regurgitates character beats from the del Toro films, and rapidly stitches together a half-hearted attempt at a King Arthur narrative to fill in the requisite new material (this is your regular reminder to check out The Kid Who Would Be King, a much better modern reinterpretation of Arthurian lore). The presentation is dour, unenthusiastic, and lacks any atmosphere or personality, and that is something you could never accuse either the Mignola books or the del Toro films of lacking. In the whole film, there are only two sequences that stand out, namely the fight with the three giants and the rampage of the hell creatures in London. Even so, the former is a relatively meaningless sequence that contributes very little to the narrative and lifts right out of the film, while the latter is so sadistic and mean spirited that it made me genuinely uncomfortable. It falls flat as both an adaptation of a beloved fictional series that’s brimming with atmosphere, and as a piece of technical filmmaking as well.

         On top of that, when the tone and general philosophy of the film does emerge out from under the rest of the film’s mediocrity, it reveals itself to be genuinely unpleasant. The film opens with narration that rushes through the backstory with Nimue and the Arthurian set-up and does so with foul-mouthed irreverence. There is a bit of humour to someone casually tossing in the odd bit of shitty language as they tell you about ancient history that should be discussed with pomp and circumstance but is instead being discussed with ill-fitting coarseness. However, there needs to be some personality to go along with it, otherwise it’s implied that the swearing is the character and all that’s there to it. In the case of this opening narration, Ian McShane emphasises each fucking swearword and it becomes clear that the dialogue is using this as a crutch in an effort to make the film seem like it has an identity as this edgy superhero movie that’s different because it swears. It’s a juvenile approach that is laughable when you consider how effortless Ryan Reynolds’ delivery in each Deadpool movie has been, which demonstrates how swearing can be used to accentuate genuinely funny jokes and characters, rather acting as the joke in and of itself.

         And this isn’t even the most egregious part of the film either, it’s simply a bad first impression. The worst aspect of the film’s outlook is how virtually every character espouses the notion that you should stop complaining, stop letting things get to or affect you, and stop taking time to process things. This is especially saddening when Hellboy’s father, a character that was played with wonderful vulnerability and heart-aching humanity by the late great John Hurt, tells Hellboy to “grow some balls” and get on with things, making the emotional culmination of their time together on screen essentially boil down to ‘quit your bitching’. Characters in Hellboy (2019) show next to no empathy towards one another, and they continually reinforce the story’s outlook which, whether inadvertently or not, nevertheless encourages a state of being where you never have time to be open or vulnerable with the people around you. It’s profoundly disheartening to watch, and gives little to no thematic or visual sustenance to get you through a runtime that feels far too long.

Final Ranking: Manure.

David Harbour does an admirable job in the lead role and I was happy to at least have a protagonist in this film that captures the gruff sadness and down-to-earth affability of the character of Hellboy. But he’s drowning in limiting makeup and an even more stifling movie that has no visual flair and a boring, miserable narrative. The experience of watching this movie is draining and deflating, and I hope to never revisit it.

[lizaharridge-mga2019mi6013]

Progress Analysis final

A screenplay is a written work by scriptwriters for various occasions like films, tv programs and these could be either original or adaptations from existing pieces of writing. It’s mostly the movements, the actions, and also the characters that are narrated through screenplays. Even though the definition gives out what a screenplay holds I was a little bit confused as to what was required from my end to make this module meet success. I hadn’t heard about what a screenplay was and neither did I know what this was about. It took me by surprise and threw me to an edge. But I was able to welcome this challenge with open hands and I was willing to ride out of my comfort zone to research in detail and find out what a screenplay exactly was and how its functions are carried out. So I knew that there will be hours of dedication, proper approach, and determination if I was to get this right.

As I mentioned earlier, I did not know what a screenplay was and nor did I come across this word. When I started my research on what a screenplay is I had to go through some of the wonderful and marvelous cinematic productions that have been made. I read a lot of screenplays and even though it consumed a lot of time I still managed to pursue further. Eventually, I found out that writing a screenplay isn’t that different from writing a script. So, I thought it will not be all that hard since I have just got to come up with a story and put it into paper. Nonetheless, I encountered what every writer goes through at times like hitting a blind wall. Only then did I realize that I have not attempted to write a script before and it was the very first challenge that I had to encounter. I didn’t know if there was a particular format that needs to be followed or a set of guidelines that need to be adhered to.

The situation I was in was a bit terrifying since I had no clue whatsoever to put me on track and get me through this but still, I figured that not everything is about doing something that you know or that you have practice but it also has a learning edge. So, it was a nice experience to get on the right track organizing and arranging the process. However, when I ventured further into the subject, I found out that there are different formats and methods to make and build up a script. I never imagined that it would involve so many steps, processes, and a lot of pre-planning to go through to get a screenplay done since it was quite similar to a script.

When I was facing these challenges, what struck my mind was how I wished I had more knowledge about this and about the amount of knowledge I will gain on this subject. Gladly I learned a lot about screenplay all thanks to this module. Initially, I got the idea of what a screenplay is. Then I learned about the “show don’t tell rule” which was very vital. Unlike in a novel, which can illuminate and bring out a character’s thoughts his morals, mindset or spend time describing the setting or places, a screenplay should only contain information that you can literally “show” and not unlike a novel let the reader’s mind run wild in their imagination. It means that if a character is in a state of unhappiness or is sad, the writer must find a method or take a different approach altogether to portray the character’s sadness. 

I also learned about how a screenplay should be written down. In a screenplay, a page roughly equates to about one minute of screen time. So as per the general rule of thumb, screenplays typically run from 90 to 120 pages long. I also found out that since screenplays are made up of many scenes, each scene can either be as short as half a page or as long as ten pages as the extent goes. But usually, a scene is either three pages or less. The specific requirement for the Font for writing a play distinctively caught my attention. With consistent spacing, most screenplays are written in Courier font, 12-point size, single-spaced. The Courier font is a monospaced font which means that each character and space is the same width. I thought this was mere all the knowledge that was required to write a screenplay but then there were various formats to be followed as well.

Screenplay formatting consists of Scene headings – tells us where we are in the film and what day it is, action lines – describes the character movement in a scene, characters – the introduction of a character before their first line is a must, dialogue – any time a character speaks either loud or in voiceover the lines must appear thus and parentheticals – if the dialogue doesn’t speak out parentheticals can be placed above or between lines of the dialogue to indicate how something is meant to be performed.

So, with all these points I thought I started to write my screenplay. A few pages and about a couple of hours of work later I found it a little too odd as for the nature of my screenplay and so I sought to research what should not be included in a screenplay. I learned that in a screenplay one must refrain from overly elaborating a scene description especially ornate or poetic language to describe a scene if that language isn’t visible. One must avoid entertaining too many parentheticals because ultimately it is the actors and the director’s responsibility to interpret a screenplay and decide how to portray a particular scene or moment. Also, that it’s the editor’s job to decide how many transitions from one scene of a finished film to another. I also learned that one must avoid including camera angles or information for how to shoot a scene. With all this information I realized that it was not about putting the work behind the scenes and the story and everything associated with paper but a particular segment of it.

The completion of the screenplay was truly a very memorable moment since it was the very first time, I had attempted to write a screenplay. Not knowing what the process is and literally what a screenplay is to see the end of a completed screenplay was beyond satisfaction. I had to start from scratch to learn everything about writing a screenplay from A to Z but with the result, it felt like it was worth all the trouble and time that was spent on writing the screenplay and finishing it. I felt like I had improved my writing skills and also opened up new possibilities and areas as far as my imagination goes. I’m proud of myself for my accomplishment and that too at the very first attempt. With proper knowledge and extensive research I put into writing the screenplay I was able to finish my first very own screenplay and it was honestly a great achievement.

After all the information I obtained about what a screenplay is, how to write a screenplay, the formats in which screenplays are written, and what you should not include in a screenplay it was very clear that the story had to be very strong and amazing. So, I thought I’d make a story that any reader would feel as if they are making a subjective approach to the content. Since I wanted to write 10 pages, I had to pick an interesting subject to build a story or it would have gotten dreary midway. But since it was moreover a personal story, I was willing to write for 10 pages and was more than motivated to make it good.

This wasn’t all a self-accomplishment alone. I was able to get about 50% of the screenplay to success from my dedication and effort but without proper guidance and advice, I wouldn’t have been able to get it all together and finish it off in the wonderful way it was completed. The lecturers played a huge role in making it easier for me to complete the screenplay which I had attempted for the very first time. My lectures supported me and guided me along the right path to make sure my script turned out very well. Their valuable feedback got me motivated and moving forward or I would have been about 50 steps way behind. Their feedback assisted me to build my script and my story in a much better way than I thought. For my script to turn out and cruise through all barricades and finally get to a point where I can call it a “screenplay” with all the requirements it was the support of my lecturers. I feel satisfied and delighted that I have my script in the place I wanted it to be.

[dio-roga]

‘AskMarshandBroflovski’

Author/Artist:              jovishark Additional Credit:        puppetamateur Status:                         Complete Links:                           Tumblr Rec No:                        #2 (Part One)

The Gist of It (aka. TLDR)

‘Stan and Kyle go through a whole lot of shit during their last couple years of high school; with side-characters and sub-plots galore. Honestly dudes, it’s hard to summarize this one since it’s just so jam packed with all kinds of everything. This askblog, maybe more than anything else I’ve read, really does encapsulate that whole ‘something for everyone’ feeling. Just trust me my dudes, ships galore, on-point writing, and gorgeous art. Go go.”

Also putting this before the page break: I know, it’s technically not a Cryde work, but I guarantee, there’s more content between those two in there than in most exclusively cryde-centric things. For a bit of trivia, it was this blog that got me into Cryde as a ship to begin with. So c’mon below, and I’ll try and reassure you…

Also also: Fair warning, this rec’ll be long af. I’m a little obsessed. So, get yourself a drink or something?

Storytelling

So like I said in the gist, the premise is fairly simple from the outset; Stan and Kyle start up an askblog, and your usual mix of hilarity, drama and ‘will-they, wont-they’ romance ensues. Now I had read askblogs before this one, and generally found them a lot of fun, but holy shit− from the get-go dudes, from the absolute start, this one had its hooks in me like nothing else has ever quite managed before or since. I’d originally just come across it after seeing some of the Craig/Clyde panels on some google search one weekend; then before I knew it, it was Monday morning and I’d read the whole blog front to back, and was experiencing like, genuine feelings for the first time in a long while.

A lot of what snagged me was the writing, which I walked in totally not expecting to take my soul hostage the way it did. The dialogue I’ll talk about with the characters, but as far as the actual story elements were presented? It reads like a god damn mini-series, with actual self-contained story arcs, side-scenarios that mesh in with the A-plot and oh my sweet jesus, the world building in this thing… Seriously dudes, I normally try and stay more grounded in tropes and clever literary devices and what have you, but with this blog I have a lot of trouble not getting like, emotionally invested.

I think that really is what makes this one so special; the atmosphere. There’s this underlying theme of determination and overcoming adversity (mirroring the writing of the blog itself, if you read the authors notes throughout− something I’d defiantly recommend) It’s the sort of writing that genuinely inspires people, deals with difficult subject matter and just generally gives off a positive vibe about soldering on and making good on big life changes, and that includes everyone, of every age and background.

And therein lies another giant strength, the variety. I would think it a very difficult task for someone to not find something they enjoy in this story; it’s a god damn carnival ride− not to spoil too much, but there’s a wash of different genres, different dynamics, different methods of storytelling and different perspectives on those stories. There’s music, there’s action, audience-participation, and enough backstory and little details that I’m still picking up new things even after having read through multiple times.

And lastly, oh boy− pitchforks and torches at the ready –there’s the content between Craig and Clyde. Now I’m not going to sugarcoat it, or really bother trying to hide the fact that these two don’t wind up in a happy relationship here. But please, and I really do mean this, don’t let that dissuade you. They have a very complicated relationship that keeps changing throughout, but their bond never goes away− so just because it isn’t all kisses and romance, I’d say it’s still one of the most endearing relationships I’ve seen written about the two (hence why I’m sticking to my guns on calling this a cryde-recommendation). Honestly, and I can say this from experience here, it gels with how boys like that can end up acting at that age. Despite everything, they still wind up being the biggest player in each other’s lives.

Characters

There is just characters bursting at the seams here, if you’re a fan of someone in the show, you can bet they’ll probably make an appearance somewhere along the line; or at least get a mention. Even Scott Malkinson gets namedropped, and that’s the first time I’ve seen him show up in something I’ve read in this fandom in like, forever.

Stan and Kyle are great picks for the leads, it feels easy experiencing the events unfold from their perspectives− honestly, it’s like watching a more grown up version of the TV-show for the most part, with Cartman and Kenny filling in with their usual contributions of being an asshole and a sweetheart respectively. (I really do love the way Cartman’s handled; he plays a tremendous bastard to be sure, but in a way you could imagine his childhood-self becoming- he makes a delightfully hammy and worryingly formidable antagonist) Also features pretty much my favorite version of Wendy I’ve come across; she’s the real MVP.

Craig’s low-key stealing scenes at first, before kicking things into high-gear and trying to take over the show throughout the run, to the point where he’s pretty much the focal point of all the drama several times. He’s a bit of a mess, but understandably so. Truthfully, all the characters have a unique take on them (all in keeping with how you’d imagine their canon counterparts at that age) and it’s a delight to learn what makes them all tick. I think with Craig especially, his views often radically differ from what you’re presented with by the other characters (including Stan and Kyle) and it’s never written in a way that forces you to side with any particular party as being ‘in the right’. Something I always find refreshing when it’s done as well as it’s done here. Everyone is presented with both strengths and faults, with actual long-running consequences for past actions, good and bad, and it’s up to you as the reader to make what you will out of it.

But then you’ve got the dialogue, and my god, it really takes the cake. There’s not much I can say apart from I legitimately thought some scenes and mannerisms must have been penned by Trey himself− the humor especially. Truly guys, you’re in for a treat. I would have loved to have asked the boys a question back in the day.

Style

Since I’ve gone long on the writing, I have to pretty much devote this section to the artwork because it’s fucking magic. Picture paints a thousand words and all that, and my god, does it ever do that here− the way things are scripted and tied in with the respective art? It makes for all sorts of amazing comedic timing, adds tenfold to any of the emotional scenes and just makes the story flow like a dream; I always have trouble putting it down once I get started.

Jovi’s just an incredibly talented artist, there is simply no escaping this fact. Each and every character has a unique design that fits their character and− I realize this one’s super subjective –to me, they all have such charm and personality in the way they’re drawn. It’s this masterfully presented cartoon-style with an emphasis on expressions, movement and color that I honestly just adore. Even at the very start of the blog, where the art is almost entirely different than it winds up looking at the finishing point two years later, I just love it− again with a South Park comparison, it reminds me of the watching the early cardboard-cutout style of the show compared to its newer 3D designs, both holding a special place in my heart in their own ways.

It floors me to think this was the author’s first major project. As mentioned above, I’d greatly recommend reading through the blog in its entirety, including all the commentaries by the mods, the funny tags, the side-art. One of the most inspiring things about this work is getting a sense of the love and dedication that was put into it over the years it was running; like watching the behind-the-scenes on some giant motion epic and coming to terms with how much effort went into producing what you’re seeing. It’s practically another story itself, and no less heartening than with the boys and their trials and tribulations. Seriously dude, so much kudos.

Favorite Things

The content variety. There’s just so much to love here, things being kept fresh and exciting throughout the super long run-time of the blog without feeling disjointed, on top of managing a satisfying conclusion. There’s a lot of fun to be had, no half-measures.

The character dynamics are a treat. With such a big cast, there’s all sorts of different personalities playing off each other, with dynamic relationships that all manage to evolve and grow. Definite love given to proper character arcs.

Inspiring themes and feel-good moments really do make this a gem to read when you’re looking for a pick me up. The messages about dealing with depression and addiction, managing your health and fitness and even studying and making smart choices− all of them really hit home.

Relationships of all different types; one’s that work out, one’s that don’t, some being easy, some being hard, long ones, short ones, mistakes and awkward surprises. Romance is well and truly covered, and I like that it doesn’t shy away with the stuff that just doesn’t end well.

Some of the best artwork you’ll come across (and so utterly fitting of the material), drawn to such a quality standard and on such a short time-frame that it kinda makes my head spin. I’m now at the point that when I think about the characters, these versions are the ones that appear in my head.

It’s honestly a little embarrassing for me to talk about AMAB, and god knows it’s pretty presumptuous, y’know? New guy recommends beloved artwork that already attracted thousands of followers back in its day. I’m going to guess this’ll end up being the rec that I’ll have needed to have written the least− since like, all of you have probably already devoured the blog long before you learned about it here.

But you know? If anything, I hope this ends up reconfirming what an excellent choice it was for you to have read it. And as always with these review things, if the author should read this, I hope you know just how much what you’ve made affected me and countless others; how good you deserve to feel, and how proud the people in your life must be of you for doing something so important and worthwhile.

As usual, next post’ll be spoilers and artwork− and I’m just going to bury my head in the sand so hard because my artwork is garbage compared, but we’ll have to muddle through. Join me there for second hand embarrassment, okay?

[jnicechang]

Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend Review (no spoilers)

Genre: Harem, Romance, Ecchi, Comedy, School 

Premise: Tomoya Aki, an otaku, has been obsessed with collecting anime and light novels for years, attaching himself to various series with captivating stories and characters. Now, he wants to have a chance of providing the same experience for others by creating his own game, but unfortunately, Tomoya cannot do this task by himself. He successfully recruits childhood friend Eriri Spencer Sawamura to illustrate and literary elitist Utaha Kasumigaoka to write the script for his visual novel, while he directs. Super-group now in hand, Tomoya only needs an inspiration to base his project on, and luckily meets the beautiful, docile Megumi Katou, who he then models his main character after. Using what knowledge he has, Tomoya creates a new doujin circle with hopes to touch the hearts of those who play their game. What he does not realize, is that to invoke these emotions, the creators have had to experience the same feelings in their own lives. 

So, I finally finished both seasons so here is my review of the anime. 

Story: Pretty basic and cliche at some parts and slow at certain times, but overall, the story itself, especially in season 2, is where it really kicks off. I gotta say I feel sorry for the people who stop watching at season 1 because dang, season 2 I was able empathize a great deal and the characters got way more development. In particular, you get to see them develop artistically and push themselves emotionally. Not that season 1 was completely dry but season 2 was much more compelling, heartfelt, and inspirational. 

One thing I’d like to note was this show LOVED to break the fourth wall and making fun of itself. I found this so refreshing and delightful because it was like saying to me “yea yea we know we’re basic af in some ways but we ain’t ashamed about it” 

Art: A-1 did a pretty spectacular job. There are certain artistic components I really want to point out. 

1) Close-Up Framing 

Excluding the obvious choices to get close-up shots of the girls’ curves, they use the shots to express a particular emotion or action without revealing the entire character. For instance, in this shot, they exhibit the emotion of frustration in her fidgeting with the phone. They weren’t simply using the face as a crutch for emotional expression. Rather, they were able to focus in on other parts of the body to express what the character was feeling. 

2) Colored Shots 

This is a regular stylistic choice I found in both seasons where they line the character rather than in  black but in a specific color. See example below: 

As you can see, her eyelashes, hair, face, etc, are lined in teal. I personally like this choice to do so as it peeks the audience’s attention and the choice of color can guide a particular response from the viewer.  Another example is shown below. 

3) Tilted Shots (term not necessarily correct) 

This was another consistent stylistic shot found in both seasons, Instead of shooting the individual straight on, they framed it so that it was diagonal. Example shown below:

As you can can see, the lines in the frame are diagonals which are often used in photography and cinematography to create movement. This was used to again peek the viewer’s attention and also make a long dialogue scene more interesting to watch. 

Characters

They sure got all your female archetypes taken care of for your typical harem. BUT and emphasis on the BUT, the character’s development doesn’t stop there. Personally, I highly enjoyed Katou’s character. She was probably the main reason why I kept watching. I didn’t quite understand her yet her blunt, dry humor caught my attention. She was refreshing. Her purposeful, initial weak presence further accentuates the development she goes through in season 2 to the point where i’m like “damn you go girl.” Tomoya is your hardworking, passionate protagonist who is dumb as a nail at times. Honestly, he really annoys me at times because of how dense he is. But all in all, he’s a lovable otaku. Eriri is your typical tsundere who really shines in season 2. Utaha was the least appealing to me but she still has her moments. 

Sound

All the music was satisfactory and I never found it overly cheesy. If anything, I was surprised at the quality. The voice acting was superb and I have nothing to complain about. 

TLDR

So, being a female fan who is quite fearful of ecchi, harem anime due to how its tendency to portray women as servile, thoughtless objects (just my personal observation), I was deeply hesitant on watching this anime. But I chose to for two main reasons. 1) I like main protagonists with black hair with glasses (l o l) and 2) It’s about a project centered on creativity and artists coming together (a k a gotta love me that artistic inspo)

I’m thankful to say my ultimate takeaway is I do not regret watching this anime and it was really was insightful of what it means to be creator. It was a lighthearted watch that got me laughing at the end of a hard day. I do advise you not to watch this in public because your friends may judge you when a close up shot of boobs come up. You have been warned ;) 

[cinema-tv-etc]

33 Secrets You Probably Never Knew About The Making Of Galaxy Quest Gordon Jackson Mar 21, 2016,

Galaxy Quest could have been a forgettable Star Trek spoof — but instead, it's become a beloved science fiction comedy, which has been voted one of the best Star Trek movies of all time. How did this miracle happen? Here's everything you ever wanted to know about the making of Galaxy Quest.

For this article, we drew on a number of sources, including DVD featurettes and old magazines from the time of the movie's release — but one source in particular was absolutely indispensible. MTV's Jordan Hoffman put together the Oral History of Galaxy Quest a couple years ago, and it's essential reading.

1. Harold Ramis was originally asked to direct the film under the title "Captain Sunshine".

Ramis wanted Kevin Kline, Steve Martin or Adam Baldwin to star, but when Disney insisted on Tim Allen, he dropped out of the project.

2. Sigourney Weaver wasn't by any means the first choice to play Tawny/Gwen — because she had already done too much science fiction.

As she told Starburst Magazine in 2000:

"I'd heard about this and I had asked my agent about it," she recalls. "He'd told me that they didn't want anyone from Science Fiction in the movie — only Science Fiction virgins as it were. "I said, 'That's silly because if anyone can spoof Science Fiction, surely it's me!' Then to my surprise I was offered the part. I had always wanted to work with Tim Allen, I was a big fan, and Alan Rickman was somebody I really admired and I fell in love with the script.

   "It was really about something more than just the people in it. It was that great sort of Wizard of Oz story of these people feeling so incomplete in the beginning, and then during the course of this adventure they come out almost like the heroes they pretended to be in the first place. "

3. Tim Allen believed Galaxy Quest would launch his second career as a science fiction actor.

He told Starlog Magazine in 2000:

   "I love it. It's my favourite thing. Galaxy Quest was a baby step for me. I like other scripts that are a bit more serious, but I'm doing this first. It's really funny right up front, then gets more serious. There's enough SF that they allowed me to do it. While it's not quite you expect from me. Technically, it isn't what I would want, which would be a Larry Niven sort of thing. It isn't right on, but it's a Saturday afternoon, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine kind of dramatic science fiction"

4. The alien Laliari was cast late in the process

According to casting director Debra Zane in an interview with Backstage:

"The filmmakers had a difficult time finding a woman who could 'be Thermian in the same way as actors Enrico Colantoni, Rainn Wilson, and Jed Rees. Missi Pyle remembers that Zane showed her the first minute of Rees' audition, to give her a sense of the tone the filmmakers were looking for. "Missi saw it and got it immediately," says Zane. "And then we came into the audition room, and we taped her, and she was so great that when I sent the audition tape to Dean Parisot, the director, on her picture and résumé, I put a little Post-it…. I actually made a Xeroxed copy of my Casting Society of America membership card, and I said, 'If this is not Laliari, I will resign from the CSA.'"

Stephen Spielberg liked Laliari so much he asked that her role be expanded to include a romantic subplot with Tony Shaloub.

33 Secrets You Probably Never Knew About the Making of Galaxy Quest 5. Tony Shaloub auditioned for Guy Fleegman, but was offered Fred Kwan.

According to MTV, he told them:

"I'm not going to play an Asian guy, but I'll play a guy that plays an Asian. How about that?"

Director Dean Parisot expounds on this:

"Tony brought up David Carradine in "Kung Fu" [another example of a non-Asian actor playing an Asian character] and the story goes — I don't know if it's true — that David Carradine was completely stoned all of the time on that show. Dialogue would just come out of his head and people would just stare at each other and think, "Where did that come from?" We knew we couldn't do a stoner because we needed to hit a PG-13, but we basically suggested that."

6. Sam Rockwell nearly dropped out of the project but was convinced by Kevin Spacey to stay onboard.

In a twist of fate, Tim Allen opted to make Galaxy Quest over Bicentennial Man.

7. The "Pig Lizard" was a full body puppet.

See above! Eyeholes for the actor inside were located inside the creature's mouth, on its soft palette. 8. Sigourney's "F" bomb during the "chompers" scene in the hallway had to be dubbed over in order to secure a PG-13 rating.

She still clearly mouths, "Fuck that!", if you look closely. 9. Alan Rickman provided input into the prosthetic that Dr. Lazarus wears.

It was designed by artists at the Stan Winston studio. As he told Starburst Magazine in 2000: "I thought it was important for it to be good enough to convince the aliens who believe we're the real thing, but also cheesy enough to imagine that it was something he applied himself." 10. Rickman also felt it would ring hollow if his character had been knighted, and asked for a few script revisions.

In the credits, Dr. Lazarus is still credited as "Sir Alex Dane." 33 Secrets You Probably Never Knew About the Making of Galaxy Quest 11. On set, Alan Rickman found Tim Allen incredibly off-putting:

"Tim Allen used to kick the door open to the make-up trailer. We would be all lined up and he would say. 'Number one is here!'"

12. Tim Allen hectored Sigourney Weaver the entire production to sign his highly coveted piece of the Nostromo from Alien.

She finally did, writing: "Stolen by Tim Allen; Love, Sigourney Weaver". According to Weaver:

"He was so upset. "Why would you write that?! I was going to put it in my screening room!" Which was such a Hollywood thing to say."

While filming, the entire cast attended a 20th Anniversary screening of Alien. 13. Dean Perisot was driven to create a passable episode of Star Trek:

"At the risk of sounding pretentious, there are a whole lot of themes playing in there. The movie needed to begin as a mockery and end as a celebration. That's a hard thing to do. Part of the mission for me was to make a great "Star Trek" episode."

14. According to Tim Allen, his performance was based on Yul Brynner:

"When I was in that Captain's chair I was not mimicking William Shatner, with whom I'm now friends [with] because of this movie. I liked the way Yul Brynner sat in his throne in "The Ten Commandments." I worked off of that. I studied that. Well, I rented the tape."

15. Screenwriter Robert Gordon didn't intend to write a family film:

"There's talk about the so-called R-rated version of the film. When I originally wrote it, I wasn't thinking about a family film, just what I wanted to see. So when the ship lands in the convention hall in the original draft it decapitates a bunch of people. There was also stuff we shot where Sigourney tries to seduce some of the aliens. It was cut — and that's why her shirt is ripped at the end."

Also, Alan Rickman's famous catch-phrase "By Grabthar's Hammer" was a temp line. But it was ultimately kept in when Robert Gordon couldn't think of anything better, Gordon told MTV. 16. Production designer Linda DeScenna was delighted to work on a film so different from the sci-fi aesthetics of the late 1990s.

· As she told Starlog:

One of the reasons I wanted to do Galaxy Quest was because it didn't have to be real, hi-tech and vacuformed: it could be, you know, kind of tacky. We were going to use blue and violet, but we ended up with the same colour of grey, just three different values. When I start a movie, aside from the things you would normally focus on, like how to lay out a set to accommodate the action, etc., etc., is colour. If you look at Mouse Hunt, which I designed, every single prop, every single piece of wardrobe, everything is keyed to three colours. In this movie, we have Sarris' world, where everything is green. So when Sarris' men are aboard the ship, they stand out, because everybody else is in grey and they're green. So when we go into the real world on this movie, everything stays with the steel blues and the greens. My thing is colour: That's what I get most excited about.

17. The film's aspect ratio switches from 1.85:1 to 2.35:1 when the ship lands on Thermia.

18. The "chompers" scene was not inspired by an old science-fiction series

Instead, it came from the whirring blades of 1997's Event Horizon.

19. The alien warlord Sarris was reportedly named after film critic Andrew Sarris.

Mr. Sarris had vocally disliked producer Mark Johnson's previous film, The Natural. Hearing of this, Sarris responded that the movie "probably won't make enough money for me to sue for $US10 ($13) million."

20. Sarris's eye patch is a nod to General Chang from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

21. Guy Fleegman was named after Guy Vardaman.

Vardaman had played several no-name characters in Star Trek: The Next Generation. He also served as the occasional stand-in for Brent Spiner and Wil Wheaton. After seeing the finished film, Guy Vardaman "just about fell out of the chair". 22. Roger Dean's album cover for Yessongs influenced the design of the Thermian station:

23. The Robot on stage with Guy at the beginning of the movie was recycled from 1992's Toys: 24. The sound for the Protector's automatic doors was taken from the video game Ultimate Doom.

This is according to IMDB, anyway.

25. It's a myth that the Rock Monster is thought to be an homage to the "twenty rock men" that William Shatner wanted for the finale of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier , but were cut due to budgetary reasons.

Screenwriter Robert Gordon denies this commonly cited myth: "The rock monster is not really a reference to [the cut scenes of the rock monsters in the William Shatner-directed "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier."] I've read about it since. But, yeah, I would say the Gorn [the famous lizard creature Shatner fights on a desert planet while the crew watches from the ship] was very much on my mind. Plus the transporter malfunction and taking the ship out of dock, winking at "Star Trek: The Motion Picture." In fact, the early drafts were called "Galaxy Quest: The Motion Picture." There are some other direct sci fi things in there. "Westworld," with Yul Brenner, is one of my favourites. When Quellek [Patrick Breen] says, "I'm shot," that's a direct reference to James Brolin in "Westworld." The little blue babies are a nod "Barbarella," cute and then mean. When Jason triggers the Omega 13, I was inspired by the end of "Beneath the Planet of the Apes." And the few clips you see of the original show, what Dean did was so great, he really made the camera moves and the recycled sets look like old, cheap "Star Trek." I wish you could see more of it in the film."

26. Creature designer Jordu Schell shared his concept art for the "cute-but-deadly" aliens on his now-defunct website.

They are very different from the final form of the creatures, and can be seen here. 27. Liliari is mentioned by name in John Updike's novel, Rabbit Remembered.

Because Updike was apparently a fan of the movie. 28. To promote the film, E! aired a mockumentary on the cultural impact of the Galaxy Quest TV series

The whole thing is here:

29. An intentionally crappy-looking fansite was used to promote the film.

And to maintain the pretense that there had been a Galaxy Quest TV series. The site contained reviews of the Five Best Episodes of Galaxy Quest, as decided by its Webmaster, the fictitious "Travis Latke":

30. In a 2000 issue of Starlog, Sigourney Weaver compared Sarris and the Thermians to the Kosovo War:

'This guy Sarris is so bad," Weaver exclaims."He really is a sadist; [he's committing] genocide against these creatures. What he's doing to these people is just what we read in the news, with the invasion of Kosovo. Get rid of them, wipe them out, for no other reason than they're there and he feels like it."

31. Costume Designer Albert Wolsky posted artwork for another alien character apparently cut from the film

"This alien has claw-like hands and a face with some human features." Concept art can be seen at the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences website.

32. The Rock Monster scenes were filmed at Utah's Goblin Valley State Park.

The area's eroded sandstone dunes, called "stone babies" provided the inspiration for the planet's cute-but-killer native aliens. It's a popular camping area and visitors are known to play laser tag amongst the rocks on full moons.

33. Star Trek may have returned the favour by borrowing from Galaxy Quest.

At least, some fans feel Star Trek: Enterprise plagiarized the look of film's Fatu-Krey when they introduced a new alien race, the Xindi-Reptilians. The Xindi-Reptilians are green, and retain the spider-like appendages radiating from theirheads.

Sources: Starlog, MTV, Starburst Magazine, DVD featurettes, and other sources as linked

https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2016/03/33-secrets-you-probably-never-knew-about-the-making-of-galaxy-quest/

"Pig Lizard" Suit Movement Test #2 - Stan Winston Studio Behind the Scenes

[fashiontrendin-blog]

The Best Dressed at the Met Gala, Plus Some Insider Secrets

http://fashion-trendin.com/the-best-dressed-at-the-met-gala-plus-some-insider-secrets/

The Best Dressed at the Met Gala, Plus Some Insider Secrets

I attended my very first Met Gala red carpet yesterday and learned many things, including but not limited to the fact that the red carpet was not, in fact, red (more on that below), that Ashley Graham is obsessed with SZA (she asked for lots of selfies) and that Jaden Smith and Kris Jenner are among the most enthusiastic celebrity greeters (when they spotted each other at the top of the stairs their eyes mutually widened with delight).

I also learned a lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that I never would have known about had I not been there to witness it firsthand. It was fascinating to be a fly on the wall. Below, I chronicled six notable things about the event that might surprise you — because they surprised me. Keep scrolling to read (but don’t you dare leave before telling me your favorite outfits in the comments!!!!!!)

90 PHOTOS click for more

The Met Gala’s festivities conceivably begin at 6 p.m. when Vogue staffers and minor celebrities begin to trickle up the red carpet. For press, though, they begin at 10 a.m., when journalists and editors and photographers and videographers line up on Fifth Avenue to preview the Costume Institute’s thematic exhibit.

I arrived at the Met yesterday morning on the hour. After letting a cute security dog sniff me and my belongings, I was permitted to enter the museum. I followed a throng of fellow content-seekers through the gigantic room that houses the Temple of Dendur, where croissants and juice were being served, and into an adjoining room.

(Photo by KENA BETANCUR/AFP/Getty Images)

There, I was greeted by mannequins wearing angelic gown after angelic gown — Dior, Valentino, Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Lacroix, Balenciaga, Versace — accented with halo-like headpieces and ornamentation so fine I wish I’d brought a magnifying glass. According to a write-up on Vogue.com, this year’s exhibit, aptly-titled Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, is “designed to create a dialogue between fashion and the masterworks of religious art in the museum’s holdings.” I did some social coverage for Man Repeller’s Instagram before scurrying back downtown to our office.

In what felt like the blink of an eye but was really three and a half hours later, I headed back uptown to the Met, dressed in a wispy gown from Rosie Assoulin that made me feel like a Shakespearean fairy, carrying a tiny clutch packed with nothing more than my wallet, my keys and my phone charged to 100%. All members of the press were instructed to arrive at 3:30 p.m. Anyone who arrived later than 4:15 p.m. would be barred from the event — no exceptions. I was (obviously) terrified of getting there late but am happy to report I rolled up at 3:25 p.m. with plenty of time to spare.

After waiting in line at the press entrance for about 45 minutes, I was shepherded into a holding room where I would hang out and go to the bathroom and blow my allergic nose and shush my stomach butterflies for another hour. At 5:15 p.m., I finally made my way up to the tent where I found a spot behind the red carpet barricade labeled “MAN REPELLER.” I’d heard in past years the red carpet portion of the event usually goes until 9:00 p.m., so I did some clandestine knee bends underneath my gown to limber them up for a night of (very exciting) standing. Like I said: a full-day affair.

It turns out my little purse situation was a huge rookie move. Every other journalist brought a full-on tote bag with them filled with all kinds of extremely important accouterments like regular phone chargers, portable phone chargers, a change of comfy shoes, bottled water, snacks, gum, lip balm, tissues and selfie sticks. Fortunately my shoes were very comfortable and I had aggressively hydrated and stuffed myself with various proteins beforehand, but I did start to regret my lack of external phone batteries when I was only halfway through the evening and my phone started dipping below 40%.

However, as luck would have it, I was standing behind my pal Maura Brannigan (Fashionista’s Senior Editor) who offered me some juice from her portable charger. She was the real heavenly body of the evening, if you ask me.

I’ve started calling it the crème brûlée carpet and surely hope you will join me.

Amal Clooney wearing Richard Quinn (Photo by George Pimentel/Getty Images)

As some of the more major celebrities began making their way up the carpet (Amal Clooney! Rita Ora! Bella Hadid! Kate Bosworth!), I’ll admit I was a little starstruck — but I was also transfixed by the people working the event who helped them get up the stairs. They were absolute pros. They ushered up celebrities wearing dresses the size of Texas without batting an eye. They carried gargantuan capes as if they were napkins. They stabilized limbs teetering upon seven-inch heels. (They dressed impeccably themselves.) I was in awe.

I tried to beckon some of them over for an Instagram interview so I could ask them every question under the sun (What’s your favorite sandwich and why? Does Rihanna’s left armpit smell like a rose petal?), but they were busy working. It was like watching Jack Bauer in behind-the-scenes action, but with boob tape.

Whenever I’ve watched any kind of red carpet coverage on television it always looks serene and cordial, like a garden party where the dresses are floor-length instead of tea-length. Yesterday I learned that red carpets — or at least this particular crème brûlée carpet — is nothing like that. For one thing, it was very, very loud. Photographers and journalists shouted celebrities’ names at top volume (ZENDAYA! OVER HERE! TURN AROUND! QUICK QUESTION! ONE PHOTO!), and for the most part they were ignored, unless they worked for huge outlets like Good Morning America or The New York Times. (Shoutout to Lena Waithe, Cardi B and Lana Del Rey for notably taking time to talk to lots of journalists, even the lesser-known ones.)

Even though everyone is clamoring for sound bites and photographs, there was a palpable we’re-all-in-this-together vibe that seemed to bond the press corps together. I overheard Instagram editors from different outlets bouncing caption ideas off each other, photographers gossiping about Met Galas past, editors sharing portable chargers (thanks again, Maura!), friendly commiseration about the fickle WiFi and shared enthusiasm for the parade of famous faces that walked by. It was loud and chaotic but also thrilling and surreal.

Oh my goodness gracious THE OUTFITS. I can’t believe I waited until my last point to talk about them! They were incredible — works of art held together by what looked like air and magic and glitter. It was fascinating to see them up close in 3D and hard to believe that people could actually walk in them, much less climb in and out of limousines and consume three courses of food in them.

Solange Knowles wearing (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Almost every outfit included a headpiece this year, ranging in style from Janelle Monáe’s wide-brim fedora to Mindy Kaling’s bejeweled crown. Many of the guests (Eva Chen, Solange, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) arrived wearing what looked a lot like halos — a nod to the evening’s theme. These delicate and oftentimes breathtaking accessories truly made each guest look museum-worthy — pun fully intended. Overall, the fashion went above and beyond expectations, a testament to why this A-list affair is beloved by many for upending typical approaches to red carpet style (i.e. playing it safe) and celebrating the risk-takers instead.

If I were charged with awarding “best dressed” accolades, I would give them to Lena Waithe for her delectable rainbow cape, Diane Kruger for making an extremely long ruched taffeta train look more effortless than denim, Frances McDormand for so clearly embodying what it means to dress like your best self, Rihanna and Cardi B for going balls to the walls ornate and Tracee Ellis Ross for wearing a perfect, hot pink hug.

How about you?

Feature photo by HECTOR RETAMAL/AFP/Getty Images.

[emersondelatorre-blog]

Wonder Boy As well as Some others Stories, Pinckney Benedict.

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Benedict is actually quick at the excellent turn of phrase at the ideal opportunity, along with every tale taking the audience on a fantastic and wild experience. There is loads of reasonable drama Miracle Child and Other Stories is actually a slim book, however that had me a while to review. If you don't think me, simply check out the recommendations webpage where almost every account succeeded some kind of honor, including the Pushcart Award, New Stories from the South, as well as theHenry Awards. The political intrigue that encompasses the tale from the 3 Wise Gentlemen, the census as well as the bloodshed from the innocents is actually certainly not always featured in a Christmas play. Maternity Magic shows you specifically why you must deal with the internal problem that is actually hindering your opportunities from obtaining expectant and after that takes place to show you specifically the best ways to perform this. In Maternity Wonder center formula part (The 5 measure system), Lisa offers a thorough summary from each measure, and afterwards studies the specifics in a best sequential order. As a worldwide released author, a few of John's various other works feature: The Energy of Being actually Different, In Swap of Lifestyle, Share Your Mission # 5, A 2nd Opportunity, The Clairvoyant Boy Investigative, Better Off Dead, Better Off Dead In Haven, and also A Gift coming from Above. I utilized blossom solutions that aided to discharge his ability to be a delighted, playful as well as amusing little bit of child. If you liked this article and you simply would like to get more info regarding mountains in england and wales (conocido-eficaz.info) nicely visit our page. Let me repeat that: After taking and also reading this post action you are getting your partner or kid friend back. Without a doubt, Wonder Boy is actually included lots of such moments, so to employ silence as a mitigation off a prevalent stress that affects every page. I will certainly start my results story by presenting on my own to the whole globe and also were actually i am coming from. Another method of ways to obtain pregnant along with a child is to have the consumption from appropriate foods items. This heartwarming content remains to be pushed to the peak of the bunch planning through the current history associated with magic children. Regrettably, there are no short cuts to magic maternity; yet there are actually effective and also checked organic techniques in order to help you out. The wonder from your little one growing inside off month to month might soon be failed to remember in the various challenges of caring for a new birthed and also these photos will certainly be actually a suggestion of the glorious opportunity. I was married to my hubby George Morgan, i enjoy him so much our team have actually been actually gotten married to for 5 years now with 2 little ones. One email written by an auntie from the young boy was sent to the Radio station where I had just recently communicated. One may believe that the moms and dads found factors they must find at a really sorrowful opportunity, however this account reached neighbors and eventually the newspaper and information. Knowing which foods to eat and also maintain an effective diet could improve your opportunities from conceiving a child kid.

[jakelace]

Marvel Ranked: Part 3 (22-12)

The night of the Spider-Man: Homecoming premier is upon us now, so again Aaron Hahn and I are going through our rankings of all of the Marvel movies since 1998. In case you have missed any of the previous installments, you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 on Aaron’s blog here. Without any further ado, lets dig into those Marvel films that are just on the verge of being some of the best of all time.

22. THE WOLVERINE

“Eternity can be a curse. It hasn't been easy for you, living without time. The losses you have had to suffer. A man can run out of things to live for. Lose his purpose. Become a ronin. A samurai without a master.”

Jacob: The train scene, Aaron! The train scene! It was moments like that that left me so high after viewing this film. In fact, the first two acts of this film are really great. James Mangold was on his way to directing one of the greatest X-Men films ever! Sure, we can say he’s done that now, but not with The Wolverine. It is really a shame how quickly this film goes downhill once the final battle begins. While the film doesn’t squander all of its goodwill it had with me, it certainly tries by including last minute villains and plot twists that were so obvious they barely felt like twists at all.

Aaron: Yes, yes, the train scene is an innovative and thrilling action scene, as are many of the early samurai-inspired battles, but they’re almost drowned out by the goofy, muddled CGI climax. For the first two thirds of the movie, starting with that harrowing Hiroshima opening, James Mangold’s Noir-influenced character study is a refreshingly nuanced, involving superhero flick. Hugh Jackman is great as always, as are Tao Okamoto and Rila Fukushima. It really is such a shame about the third act being so overblown, but thankfully Mangold and Jackman took this film as a learning opportunity, and fixed those tonal inconsistencies the second time around.

21. X-MEN

“I feel a great swell of pity for the poor soul who comes to that school… looking for trouble.”

Aaron: A lot of the commendation for the original X-Men film is directed towards its significance in the history of comic book adaptations. Fueled by some pitch perfect casting choices that went on to pervade the venerable franchise, including Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and Patrick Stewart as Professor X, X-Men was the first successful superhero blockbusters in the modern era, paving the way for the MCU and more to follow. It’s a significant film, but also a pretty good one. Beyond the excellent cast, the film features plenty of exciting (though dated) action, and there’s a lot of charm in its plot’s embrace of comic-book wackiness. While the X-Men franchise would have better (and worse) entries later on, the original film remains a well-made, enjoyable foundation.

Jacob: Of all the X-Men films, this is the one I’ve seen the most by far. While I would never claim it is the best, there is something to it that I just can’t stop coming back to. I love our introduction to Jackman’s Wolverine, the villains’ oddly convoluted plot, the oddly inconsistent accents of Rogue and Storm, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the “toad and lightning” line in some dark and twisted part of my soul. That line is absolutely horrible, from the writing to the stilted delivery of it, but I consistently laugh at it every time. Not for the right reasons, mind you, but I still laugh. I think that’s the best way to describe my feelings for this film honestly. It isn’t always good, but it has charmed me to the point where I can forgive its shortcomings and laugh along with it.  

20. ANT-MAN

“Baskin-Robbins always finds out.”

Jacob: Just so everyone knows, it kills Aaron that Ant-Man is this high on the list. I, however, had fallen for Ant-Man the minute the credits rolled. It is flawed, sure, but there is a lot here that works. Paul Rudd is a charismatic lead, Ant-Man’s power set makes for interesting and often times hilarious set pieces, and the bits left over from Edgar Wright’s original vision for the film are sublime. On top of that, it was the first film in the MCU that really made the universe feel like a living, breathing world, and that is no simple tasks. It’s hard to shake the thoughts of how great this film could have been if Wright had stayed on the project, but if you can manage, there is a lot to love underneath.

Aaron: Going in, we both knew this was going to be one of the most contentious films to place, and, yes, I’d personally put it lower. Ant-Man was one of the first films I reviewed for my blog, and I received a lot of flak for my indifferent response to it. Sure, Paul Rudd, the humor, and the set-pieces are great, but all these elements are just loosely strung together by a series of forced emotional beats and clunky “Hey, this will be important later!” dialogues. I like what you said about it making the MCU feel more like an authentic world though, as the film’s small-scale stakes are refreshing (and fitting for the character). It’s noticeably clunkier than your average MCU film (that Falcon detour is so contrived), but hey, that Thomas the Tank Engine gag never fails to make me laugh.

19. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

“The city is flying and we're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. Nothing makes sense.”

Aaron: Avengers: Age of Ultron’s reception was perhaps unfairly damaged by the inescapable pressure put on it following the all-out success of the first film. It could never have completely recaptured the magic of watching these various heroes unite on the big screen for the first time, but that doesn’t stop it from trying, to marginal success. The quipy writing and excellent chemistry of the all-star cast once again shines, especially in quieter moments that ended up being the best parts of the film, such as the roundtable attempts to lift Thor’s hammer. There’s plenty of cool visuals and dynamic team-up action, and while Ultron’s inconsistent characterization is disappointing, one can’t deny that James Spader was absolutely perfect casting. Age of Ultron can’t help but pale in comparison to its predecessor, but is still a blast for comic-book fans.

Jacob: Speaking of the inescapable pressure of the original, poor Joss Whedon, man. Nearly everything that doesn’t work in this movie can be directly traced back to Marvel mandated content that he had fought against during the film’s production, to the point where it burned him out on working with them altogether (although now he’s with DC, so it couldn’t have burned him out too badly). When this movie shines though, it’s fluorescent. The attempts to lift Thor’s hammer are certainly fantastic, but the moment that shined through the most to me was the introduction to the Barton farm. It’s scenes like those that really prove what Whedon is capable of. He can take characters who we know or care very little for and turn them into some of the most fleshed out and cared for in the series, and that’s really something special...or Thor can take a bath in some cave or something. Not entirely sure what was happening there, but that was in this movie for some reason.

18. IRON MAN 3

“Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?”           “Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.”

Jacob: Let’s continue the train of Marvel films Jacob loves that Aaron barely tolerates! Next stop: Iron Man 3! Man, I really dig this movie. From Shane Black’s excellent direction to another show-stopping performance from RDJ, it’s hard for me to believe that people hate this movie. I mean, I even like the parts that people hate, like the Mandarin reveal and the fact that Iron Man is barely in it. This is partially helped by the fact that I love watching films where characters who are out of their element have to find creative ways to solve their problems, and the whole second act fits the bill for me there. On top of that, the finale is bonkers and is everything I wanted from the final solo Iron Man outing. House Party Protocol anyone?

Aaron: Yeah, that “need to find creative ways to solve problems when out of their element” part doesn’t really work. In the first one, Tony Stark is able to create the Mark 1 suit as a captive in a cave in Afghanistan. Here, with access to an entire hardware store, he makes… a electrocuting glove..?  And couldn’t we have traded that annoying kid’s screen-time for more Iron Man action? Nevertheless, I have become a lot more favorable to this film after embracing the fact that this is more a Shane Black film than your typical Marvel one. The humor’s great, the parade of new Iron Man suits is delightful, and the examination of Tony’s PTSD is surprisingly heavy material for a summer blockbuster. The Mandarin twist even adds some fascinating political commentary to the mix. It’s too bad it also leaves us with Guy Pearce’s bland villain.

17. THOR

“Your ancestors called it magic, but you call it science. I come from a land where they are one and the same.”

Aaron: I remember, back before the MCU carried a sense of obligation, being very hesitant to see Thor in theaters, having never been a huge fan of the comic character. However, I ended up loving the film, even more than most, as it still ranks as one of my favorite MCU films. The casting is solid all around, including the charismatic performance of the at-the-time relatively unknown Chris Hemsworth, the gravitas generating presence of Anthony Hopkins, and, of course, the introduction of surprise fan-favorite Loki, played by Tom HIddleston.  From the elaborate costumes to the various unearthly realms, the film is visually fantastic, embracing its colorful comic book roots. Sure, the detour to Earth slows down the film significantly, but when swept up in fantasy drama of Asgard, imbued with the excellent Shakespearean sensibilities of director Kenneth Branagh, the film is magical.

Jacob: Alright, it’s been a while, so I guess it’s time for me to have another confession time: I don’t really like this movie. I think it might have something to do with not really liking Asgard as a setting, but I find it hard to feel connected to this film and its stakes. On top of that, this is easily Hemsworth’s worst go at the character, and I find it hard to put my finger on as to why that is. Perhaps it’s because Thor is really whiny in this movie? Oh yeah, that’s it. As much as I could nitpick at this film, it’s hard to dismiss it entirely. There are some fun moments like anything with Agent Coulson and our short introduction to Hawkeye, and of course this film introduces us to Hiddleston’s Loki, but on the whole, this is a film I’m content to skip when looking through the MCU’s filmography.

16. BIG HERO 6

“Hello. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.”

Jacob: A Disney team-up was practically inevitable from the moment Marvel was acquired by them. I wasn’t expecting much from this film, but thankfully, Big Hero 6 is way better than it has any right to be. A lot of this is helped by a great voice cast including Scott Adsit as Baymax and Alan Tudyk as Alistair Krei (side note: why is Tudyk so fantastically talented? There’s no reason for that.) This film is gorgeous, hilarious, heart-warming, tear-jerking, and pretty much everything else that we’ve come to expect from this most recent string of Disney films. Thankfully for Marvel they were lucky enough to be along for the ride.

Aaron: I guess I’m the opposite in that I expected great things from this film, and was left somewhat disappointed. The story was far too predictable, and for a film called Big Hero 6, the rest of the team are completely overshadowed by Hiro and Baymax. Still, this imbalance is understandable, given how absolutely hilarious and lovable Baymax is. His antics never fail to make me smile, and Scott Adsit is fantastic in the role. It has the expected gorgeous animation of your standard Disney film, and its exploration of grief and depression represents another emotionally mature, yet still fun for the whole family, effort from Disney. I hope we get a sequel to this wonderful, heartwarming film someday, one that moves us further away from this one’s familiar material.

15. DEADPOOL

“You're probably thinking, ‘My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a f***ing kabab!’ Well, I may be super, but I'm no hero.”

Aaron: Deadpool is perhaps the most accurate comic book adaptation ever made. After four failed comic book entries (including #39 on this list, Blade: Trinity), Ryan Reynolds found the role he was born to play, perfectly embodying the manic eccentricities of the anti-hero, uninhibited by the unnecessary muting the character received in X-Men: Origins: Wolverine (#36 on this list!). Mocking everything from the X-Men franchise’s convoluted timeline, to the film’s low budget, to Green Lantern, Deadpool is a riotous blast, with plenty of inventiveness in the action scenes as well. Considering how well it sends up the superhero genre, it is a bit disappointing that it’s clichéd origin story takes up so much of the runtime, but the film packs in enough jokes and absurdities into its brisk runtime to more than make up for all of its shortcomings. Deadpool was a breath of fresh air for the superhero movie genre, and its risk-taking was thankfully rewarded with critical and commercial success.

Jacob: Thankfully is right. Remember when there was a time where Deadpool wasn’t one of the biggest heroes in the world? Well, keep that memory close, because I’m pretty certain we won’t be seeing anything like that again for years to come. Whenever Deadpool is actually being Deadpool in this film, you can’t help but smile from ear to ear. This film is unbelievably gory, raunchy, and hilarious in all of the best ways, but all of that is set to the side for about twenty minutes or so of runtime. While that might not sound like a lot, it’s enough to have you begging for more action, based on the fact that all of it is so good. It’s those twenty minutes that keep this film out of the running for the top ten Marvel films, and that’s no joke. Deadpool is really that good.

14. DOCTOR STRANGE

“Dormammu, I've come to bargain!”

Jacob: It was only a matter of time until the MCU started to dive into the mystical side of the Marvel-verse, and it was a moment I had been eagerly anticipating. Before Doctor Strange was released I did my best to stay away from promotional materials, and I’m thankful I did, because I was completely blown away by what I had seen in that theater. While the story is fairly well- worn in its genre and beyond, Strange differentiates itself by being a spectacle to look at. The way the rooms and cities fold in upon each other all while containing well shot action is nothing less than kaleidoscopic and mesmerizing. That’s without even mention the climax which is the most original in Marvel’s history bar none.

Aaron: The fourteenth film in the MCU, Doctor Strange both adheres strongly to the established studio template, and completely breaks the mold. The story bears strong similarities to the likes of Iron Man and Ant-Man, but, man, those M.C. Escher/Inception-esque kaleidoscopic set-pieces really are just some of the coolest, most visually arresting action scenes ever put to film. There’s also a fantastic cast, with Benedict Cumberbatch doing the type of arrogant genius role he does best, Mads Mikkelsen elevating his underdeveloped villainous role with sheer talent (Man, that “Mr. Doctor” exchange is just sublime), and Tilda Swinton once again proving she’s one of the best actors currently working. And that climactic showdown was fantastically surprising, inventive, and perfectly fitting for the hero. Just wish the rest of the plot had shown that much risk-taking.

13. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

“He says, Welcome to the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy! Only he didn't use ‘frickin'.”

Aaron: It’s always hardest ranking the newest entries for a list like this, as they hasn’t been enough time for their impact to be fully gauged. However, it seems like a safe bet to place Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 this high on the list, considering it fully delivers on more of the same irreverent humor, colorful visuals, and rockin’ 70s tunes that made the first film such an unexpected success, even if it is a bit too much of the same. The plot may be a bit sluggish, but that allows the film to spend lots of time further developing the wonderful character dynamics between the fantastic cast, and engaging in extended comedic beats. It doesn’t quite recapture the magic of the first film, but at the end of the day, getting to go on another zany adventure with the endearing Guardians is just an absolutely great time at the movies.

Jacob: I think you’re right in assuming that this placement is somewhat free of a recency bias. Now is it free of my bias for these characters? No…no, it probably isn’t, but man it’s hard to argue against just how much fun this movie is. From the very opening battle to the five (yes, five) after credits scenes I couldn’t help but be fully engrossed in this world and its characters. James Gunn has done such a fantastic job with writing and directing these movies, and though the plot takes a backseat in this entry, it allows Gunn to prove just how much he adores these characters by giving nearly everyone a moment in the spotlight. Oh, and I’ll put the “Come A Little Bit Closer” scene up against nearly any other MCU scene. Don’t @ me.

12. X2: X-MEN UNITED

“The war has begun.”

Jacob: Despite the original X-Men still being quite good and a landmark for superhero cinema, X2 is a quantum leap forward in quality. In fact, a lot of people cite this as their favorite superhero film of all, and while I certainly don’t agree, I can see exactly where they’re coming from. X2 takes the groundwork of the original and builds upon it with great characterization for the series mainstays and newcomers alike (Nightcrawler especially), and well-choreographed action sequences for all of the mutants. Plus, Brian Cox’s Stryker is one of those great villains that I absolutely love to hate.

Aaron: That wicked, intense opening scene of Nightcrawler in the White House is just such a perfect way to kickstart this great movie, and then it’s followed up by that Magneto prison escape, the X-Men Mansion invasion, and that Wolverine/Lady Deathstrike battle? X2 not only contains a plethora of magnificent action scenes, but a lot of strong character work as well, particularly the exploration of Wolverine’s origin (If only that hadn’t felt the need to follow it up with that Origins film…) Plus, Magneto’s betrayal and ultimate master plan is legitimately haunting, helping make X2 not only one of the best X-Men films still, but also one of the best superhero movies ever.

That’s all for today, but be sure to check back tomorrow on https://thiscleverblognameisalreadytaken.tumblr.com/ for the final part of our Marvel Ranked series, where we talk about the best Marvel has to offer in the realm of film.

[thejoeydavis]

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

 Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

 The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

 The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

 Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

 Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

 Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

 The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

 10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

 Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

 Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

 Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

 Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

 Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

 Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

 Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

 Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

 The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

 The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

 Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

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 Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

 The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

 The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

 Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

 The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

 Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

 Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

 The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

 Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

 It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

 The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

 Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

 Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

 Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

 Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

 Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

 Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

 Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

 Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

 Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

 The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

 Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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 Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

 Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

 Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

 American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

 Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

 Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

 Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

 Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

 Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

 Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

 Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

 Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

 Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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 Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

 The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

 O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

 Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films).  In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

 Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

 The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

 Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

 This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

 No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

 Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

 Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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 Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

 La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

 Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

 Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

 Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

 The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading